Growing Up Global: Raising Children to be At Home in the World By Homa Sabet Tavanga

Celebrating Chinese New Year with My Adopted Daughter – thoughts

January 31st, 2012

I really appreciated KJ Dell’Antonia’s Motherlode Post “Celebrating Chinese New Year with My Adopted Daughter” where she shares honest thoughts about being Caucasian  raising a Chinese-born adopted daughter along with three other biological children.  The annual Chinese New Year’s festivities and her pledge to honor her daughter’s birth heritage spurred the reflection which is worth reading for anyone thinking about issues of identity and intersections with global culture(s).  I got to thinking what happens after a few generations have grown up “different,” and submitted the comment below.  If you read the article on the link above, also be sure to read the thoughtful (and some incendiary) comments.

Photo credit: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45930633/ns/us_news/t/adopted-kids-mini-ambassadors-come-lunar-new-year/#.TygeFnrcCvg

My comment as published:

Weighing in late, but I love this post, KJ.  I remember growing up when we’d hear the tsk-tsk of folks who’d say “We worry about what will happen to the children (of international adoptions and inter-racial or inter-faith marriages).”  But the determining factor seemed to be the loving and encouraging environment at home, as well as on-going, honest conversations, and finding or creating a supportive community (as it seems you have), not whether everyone under that roof had the same shape of eye, hair texture or affiliation.  What’s awesome as those children are getting married and having their own children is this melding of SO MANY more cultures in the next generation(s).  So the English-Iranian wife married to the Swiss-Congolese husband raising a child in Philadelphia who looks Puerto Rican isn’t such an anomaly – and she loves every piece of who she is. Embracing the world – sometimes in the form of our children, our sons-in-law, and godmothers -  gives us more chances to grow and to love, even when it’s confusing or uncomfortable.
(PS: Thanks to my Italian friend Kate, married to Jewish Richard with 2 Chinese children (out of 4) for reminding me of this piece!)

 

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Posted in China, Prejudice, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Thank you, Brilliant Star!

January 27th, 2012

I was so honored to be featured in the latest issue of Brilliant Star magazine.  Here’s a blurb I wrote about what I think of this publication:

“My daughters range in age from elementary school to college. We’ve been reading Brilliant Star magazine for at least ten years, and the excitement of getting each new issue in the mail hasn’t worn off – for any of us. Each month the quality of moral and spiritual education themes, creative activities, and examples of making the world a better place surpass our expectations. For the children it’s a fun magazine just for them, and as a parent it’s been a trusted companion offering countless examples and inspiration for raising a balanced, loving, happy, insightful, and active global citizen. Thank you, Brilliant Star, for elegantly educating, entertaining, engaging, and inspiring like no other publication does!”

And here’s the PDF of the piece:

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“At Home in the World” Parents Magazine Feature

January 26th, 2012

The December 2011 issue of Parents Magazine featured a story on global learning for families, drawing from a number of experts in the field, like the inspiring Dana Mortenson of World Savvy.  I was honored to be contacted for the story, and that the title of the story ended up being the subtitle of Growing Up Global, “At Home in the World.”  Also, that the action tips were drawn from suggestions in Growing Up Global.  Here are images of the pages; sorry if they look blurry on your screen.  I think you can see their Tips on the second page.

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You Don’t Have to Be Chinese to Celebrate the Year of the Dragon – Lunar New Year

January 22nd, 2012

The Year of the Dragon celebrations offer a great opportunity to grow our understanding of the world – while having fun with our kids.  Before you good-intentionally blurt out “Happy Chinese New Year,” to colleagues and neighbors – stop!  “Chinese New Year” represents a subset of the cultures that celebrate.  It’s also a festivity in Vietnam, Korea, Japan, Nepal, Thailand, Mongolia, Brunei, Indonesia, and more, with some of the biggest festivals taking place in Canada and Australia.  So, say “Happy Lunar New Year!” And some call it Spring Festival, even though to many of us in colder locales that feels like a stretch.

You also don’t have to be East Asian to celebrate.  My family is Iranian-American and some of our favorite memories are of making fresh dumplings with neighbors in the deep winter for the New Year, attending Philadelphia’s Chinatown parade followed by a dim sum feast with transplants from four continents, and for our girls, wearing the traditional Chinese silk brocade dress, that comes in every color and size.

I was struck by President Obama’s 40-second Lunar New Year greeting (click here to watch), which he put in the context of his own fond memories: “growing up in Hawaii I remember all the excitement surrounding the Lunar New Year, from the parades and the fireworks to the smaller gatherings with family and friends.  It’s always been a time for celebration and for hope. ” He also uses this as an occasion to remind Americans that we gain strength from our diversity – a message that can resonate whatever your political leanings (unless, of course, you think that Mitt Romney’s French language abilities are a liability).

Did the President celebrate with his Kansan grandparents, who were vital to his upbringing and support system, or with his mother after her return from Indonesia, or more likely, with all of them, since Lunar New Year has been integrated into Hawaiian life, too?  These celebrations may have been formative to the American President who has been criticized for stating he is “an American citizen and a citizen of the world.”  Having a personal experience of something as joyous and free from an agenda as celebrating a new holiday with friends can widen the vision of the possibilities for our own lives, especially at a formative age: what second language we might learn, where we might study or do business, who our friends and loved ones can be, art that resonates, food and music we enjoy, and more.  It also helps us become more compassionate to the lives of others – near or far.

This year is particularly portentous as the Year of the Dragon, a symbol of power and excellence, courage, heroism and perseverance, nobility and divinity. With all the power a dragon has, he uses it benevolently.  This wisdom and restraint is a source of wealth and respect.

So, make dumplings; finally learn how to eat gracefully with chopsticks; learn a phrase in Mandarin or Vietnamese; reach out to a new immigrant family in your community; or get to know the couple that runs the ethnic shop nearby.  And imagine: how will you be a wise and kind dragon, radiant on the inside, spreading beauty and promise on the outside?

 

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Posted in Barack Obama, China, Food, friends, Global education, Holidays | No Comments »

5 Ways Families Can Honor Dr. King & The Dream

January 8th, 2012

I think it’s essential that kids grow up with memories of actively marking the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday and birthday.  At most schools this is a day off, and a growing movement advocates making this a “day on.”  When parents engage with their children on the important matters Dr. King spoke out for, it sticks.  Here are 5 simple steps to get started.

Volunteer.  Search local churches, service organizations, interfaith coalitions, and school groups for a volunteer activity you can plug into.  You can look up the official National Service Day website, plug in your zip code and find out what’s going on: http://mlkday.gov.  Talk about some of the service options you’ve found over dinner (or whenever your family can best have a conversation), so that this becomes an activity you all own, care about, and look forward to.

Read – more, new, different.  Spend time educating your family on the sacrifices made to begin realizing racial justice and equality in the United States (or elsewhere, like South Africa in the post-apartheid struggle).  For the youngest children, here’s a nice list of ten books from Kathleen Cross’s blog, which also model diverse images of beauty our children need to see.

This is the Dream by Diane Z. Shore and Jessica Alexander is perfect for about grade 2 and up – and by up, I mean really up – I showed it to my 16 year old, who also liked it.  The delightful poetic verse along striking illustrations by James Ransome make the harsh realities of institutionalized racism hit home hard.  Then, after a glimpse of courageous civil rights heroes, the picture of the world as we know it today (imperfect but better) depicts a contrast that’s particularly striking. My eight-year old daughter read it over and over again.  Another lovely and inspiring one is Martin’s Big Words: The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There’s a lot to learn and appreciate on this theme.  Many books have been written of excellent quality.  Just go on either of these amazon book pages and scroll down to “customers who bought this item also bought” to find other titles of interest.  Then you can borrow from the library, buy on that site or go to your independent bookseller.

“Meet” more heroes. Beyond learning about Dr. King, I find it’s crucial to teach my children about a wide range of African-American visionaries, scientists, poets, philosophers, and inventors. In one speech Dr. King said, “We’re going to let our children know that the only philosophers that lived were not Plato and Aristotle, but W.E.B. Du Bois and Alain Locke came through the universe.” And beyond Rosa Parks, what about Robert Hayden, Robert Smalls, Ruth Simmons or Wilma Rudolph?

Pray.  If you pray or meditate, include race unity in your thoughts and prayers.  Racism is a spiritual disease, and a simple meditation to keep in mind can be:   “… welcome all with the light of unity.” It is offered in this context:

“The diversity in the human family should be the cause of love and harmony, as it is in music where many different notes blend together in making the perfect chord. If you meet those of different race and color from yourself, do not mistrust them and withdraw into your shell of conventionality, but rather be glad and show them kindness. Think of them as different colored roses growing in the beautiful garden of humanity, and rejoice to be among them.”

James Taylor’s song honoring Dr. King is like a prayer.  Listen and watch here.

Everyday @Home. An important lesson for any family that wishes to raise global citizens, free of prejudice, is to take the lesson home.  Don’t just leave it up to your school to offer all the lessons and experiences around Dr. King and racial justice (even if your school is doing a great job with this lesson).  Actions you take at home send a powerful signal that “this matters to us.”  And kids who grow up marking MLK Day with a parent or family member will cherish the holiday and what it stands for.  They’re the ones who will build the better world we all long for.

Do you have ideas for marking MLK Day? Please share here, or on Growing Up Global’s Facebook Page or Twitter.

Posted in Africa, Barack Obama, Dr. Martin Luther King, Global education, Golden Rule, Holidays, Human Rights, Interfaith, Prejudice | 3 Comments »

Teaching Human Rights – Start at Home

December 11th, 2011

On Friday I visited Philadelphia’s Independence Charter School, where the entire school day was dedicated to an inspiring Human Rights Day program for all the kids.  I plan to write a full piece on that soon, but in the meantime wanted to share a few ideas on International Human Rights Day, which was this past weekend.

Here’s the link to a video from UNICEF highlighting the Convention on the Rights of the Child, the most ratified global treaty – ever.

(UNICEF) Overview: Convention on the Rights of the Child

The video gives a clear idea about what the Convention on the Rights of the Child is, and emphasizes seeing children as actors that can make a difference in our society.  This means seeing our children with new, respectful eyes.  Listening to them, caring for them, educating them in meaningful ways that ensure they will have the wherewithal to make impact for an ever-advancing civilization.

UNICEF’s website includes curricular materials starting with middle grades: http://teachunicef.org/explore/topic/child-rights-crc.

For younger children, I believe human rights begins with a discussion of how we treat the people all around us.  This means siblings and parents, and even self-care and consideration.  The ever-present issue of bullying is relevant here.  I wrote a short piece for PBS Parents on how instilling a global vision in kids can serve as an antidote to bullying.  It’s linked here.  At Independence Charter, they started the discussion with kindergartners, beginning with watching the film Ant Bully.  As kids got older, the films got more serious and intense, corresponding with the maturity of the grade. (K-8) (Film list forthcoming, too.)

The UNICEF video starts with stark pictures of desperate kids mostly in very poor countries.  Some kids (and adults) are feeling a backlash to being fed desperate images to get them to think about anything other than videogames, TV shows and the like.  If parents want to start a thoughtful conversation about Human Rights Day, or “Have you ever thought about human rights and what it means?” they could start with an open-ended question at the dinner table or a car ride to just launch thinking about the issue.  Make it personal.  What does it look like in YOUR life?  What about in the life of a friend or relative who emigrated to this country?  What conditions might have been different there?  How can we take our human rights into our own hands? What virtues are displayed when you consider human rights, and especially when you take your rights into your own hands?

Then, after ideas are kicked around, look at the UNICEF materials and videos, to add definition and clarity.

We never have to wait for International Day of (Fill in the Blank) to focus on an issue, but it helps spur our consideration.  Hopefully, every day will be human rights day!

You also can weigh in here, or on my FACEBOOK page.  Thanks!

 

 

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Posted in Bullying, Films, friends, Global education, Golden Rule, Human Rights, Moral Education, Prejudice, UNICEF, War and Peace | No Comments »

Spur the Global Economy – Stay Home and Make a Difference This Thanksgiving

December 1st, 2011

(This piece has been featured on the Homepage of ABC’s Million Moms Challenge; with the full text on the blog here, on the Huffington Post, in Global Giving’s news and below.)

Feeling the pressure of tighter consumer spending, giant retailers catering to bargain hunters will open earlier than ever this Black Friday, on Thanksgiving Thursday.  Imagining the stampede of shoppers is enough to give me indigestion, even before I take a bite of turkey.  But it doesn’t have to be that way. My family has found a way to support the global economy by staying home and acquiring nothing – with a game that’s become a tradition.

Right after our Thanksgiving meal, we always play games like Scattergories or watch a classic movie, and now, whoever wishes from our big, opinionated extended family joins in for what has become known as our “Global Giving Game.”   As part of our day of abundant eating and giving thanks, giving back has become part of the routine everyone comes to expect.  Our giving game feels like a continuation of the prayer uttered before the meal – a conscious act uniting far-flung family members that come together for the holiday with each other and with those we’ve never met around the planet.

After about a 3-minute orientation on the GlobalGiving.org website we break into “teams” with about five people in each, depending on how many people have brought laptops.  Each team logs in to the GlobalGiving website and starts discussing various issue areas they might like to support – from democracy to disaster aid to education, maternal health and hunger.  The issues and possibilities can get overwhelming, and we need to accommodate ages ranging from six to ninety, so we deliberately wedge this “game” between dinner and dessert.  We give each team only about twenty minutes to come up with a recommendation that the entire group would then consider and vote on.

As the groups navigate the site, discussions around the computers get richer and more serious.  People were fascinated by the range of innovative programs and were drawn in by the desperate needs all over the world.  I heard the team of little girls talking with one of the grandmothers about what it’s like when there’s no clean water and the day must be spent walking to fetch water for the family instead of going to school, and another “team” discussing the merits of supporting computers in U.S. classrooms versus vaccines for kids in Africa.  Possibly the biggest challenge in the process was to get people to decide on a single project to recommend – they felt the needs were simply too big to narrow down their choices in such a short time.  This itself was a great learning experience.  The first year we were able to narrow it down to one choice between four teams: to support girls’ education in Afghanistan, as this satisfied interests for women’s empowerment, education, health, and U.S. and global security.  The second year we couldn’t narrow to just one, so we supported an education project in the United States , maternal health globally, and water wells at needy schools in Kenya.

Once we make the difficult choice of which project(s) to support, we put a wooden box in the middle of the coffee table for whoever wants to contribute an anonymous donation.  The youngest kids prepare in advance, so they bring their own money set aside from their savings.  It’s always exciting to count the total from our group effort.  We emphasize that this isn’t meant to replace personal philanthropic giving nor to put anyone on the spot, and we won’t pass around a collection box.  Our goal wasn’t to raise big money, but to give everyone a taste of this process.  The first year we raised $197, then, when we counted, my cousin’s 6-year old daughter ran to get her $3 and a brother-in-law gave his promised $0.27 worth to take us to a total of $200.27.

Each year the experience has far surpassed my expectations.  Amidst homemade pecan, pumpkin, key lime, and chocolate mousse pies and my mom’s amazing chocolate-swirled cheesecake, conversations about global issues inevitably continue across generations.  I noticed the next day so many of us had Facebook statuses that were inspired by our little Global Giving Game.

This year, with many of our family members signed on to the Million Moms Challenge, I’m looking forward to seeing what creative solutions we might find, and my now eight-year old and her cousins have already set aside allowance money to bring for the best bargain we might find on Black Friday – the “priceless” gifts of uniting as a family, learning, and making a difference in lives near or far.

The more we learned about the needs of families worldwide, the more we connected, taking to heart the simple fact: we all want to raise healthy babies and kids.

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Posted in Africa, Articles, Food, friends, Giving, Global education, Global Giving, Golden Rule, Holidays, Uncategorized, Women | No Comments »

How China Can Defeat America – And What This Means to Parents

November 22nd, 2011
I’ve been fascinated by the recent New York Times Op-Ed by Chinese Professor Yan Xuetong, the author of “Ancient Chinese Thought, Modern Chinese Power,” a professor of political science and dean of the Institute of Modern International Relations at China’s prestigious Tsinghua University.  In this piece called “How China Can Defeat America” he makes the case that “states relying on military or economic power without concern for morally informed leadership are bound to fail.” By drawing from ancient Chinese texts of sages like Confucius and Mencius over 2,000 years ago, Professor Yan argues that military and economic might alone won’t make for a world power.  Moral leadership, in the form of “humane power”, not tyranny or hegemony, wins the battle for hearts and minds, and this is what sticks.  Millennia of experience bear out that this is not a simple idealistic wish, but the conclusion of academic and policy “realists.”
So, parents, what does this have to do with you?  Plenty.  If we ask ‘Who will be the leaders of the future that must make morally-informed, humane, complex decisions?’  Then we need to look around and reflect on our values and priorities.  Where do our children, masters of the multiple choice test, get those tools?  As parents, we must supplement our children’s education with morals, preferably universal values so they can put themselves in the shoes of those whose ideology, at least on the surface, appears to be different.  This is also known as empathy.  Current studies, like this one David Brooks cites from Notre Dame University, show that American youth are getting weaker at moral decision making, not stronger.  If this determines our global power, we better get busy – teaching our children virtues, universal morals, and positive examples of what a global citizen behaves like.  It’s not just the “global” thing to do.  Consider it an act of patriotism, too.

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Increasing the Odds – For Every Baby

November 10th, 2011

My third daughter had a 92% chance of never being conceived.  When she was around four years old she heard a friend of mine mention our little surprise, and then asked me: “Mommy, why does she say I’m an accident?”  Never wanting her to think this about herself, I stopped anyone from saying anything like that again, and called her our “gift”.  I use that term often to refer to her.  To us she is perfect and our lives are profoundly richer thanks to her presence – as our present.

Nazeer Bibi’s daughter had about a 92% chance of never being born.  Throughout her pregnancy, Nazeer worked in the fields with her husband. One day she felt pain and told her husband. He found an ox cart to take her to the nearest village for help, but on the way her pain and bleeding were so great that they stopped while local women gathered to help her. They held up cloths to protect her privacy but had no midwifery training. One woman pressed down on Nazeer’s belly with her foot which made her cry out and bleed all the more. Other locals arrived and told her husband that he must send for a trained midwife or Nazeer would die. He refused and told the male worker not to go near his wife.

Depiction of Nazeer Bibi, from whiteribbonalliance.org

An hour later Nazeer died under the open sky. All had witnessed this woman lose her life needlessly. Nazeer’s baby also died.  Sadly, they didn’t defy the odds against them, as my child and I did.  But their case can’t be dismissed as an “accident” either.  In my case I’m fortunate to call my “accident” a “gift;” but in Nazeer’s and over 1,000 women every single day, her circumstances resulted in a tragic, needless loss.

I didn’t know Nazeer.  I read her story on the White Ribbon Alliance For Safe Motherhood’s website, which shares both the Stories of Mothers Lost, and fortunately, of Mothers Saved, like on this video at a maternal hospital in Tanzania.  White Ribbon Alliance members in 152 countries are taking the message and concrete solutions for safe motherhood to their own families, local communities, governments, and entire nations.  They are working tirelessly, urgently to prevent needless deaths like Nazeer’s.

As I’m wrapping up this post, I just realized that my eyes have been watering and my heart hurting throughout writing this piece.  These stories are real, and had I not won the lottery at birth, I realize it could have been me…or you.  I don’t want to forget this feeling I have in response to these humble, powerful women.  In a few minutes I need to get up from my computer, figure out what to make for dinner, pick up children from activities, and images of Nazeer and others will temporarily erase from my mind.  But I’m committed to doing better.  To translate this heartache I feel right now, I’ll stay in touch with the White Ribbon Alliance, sign up for the Million Moms Challenge, and learn more about the other partner organizations.  The global effort for mothers’ health can mean the difference between life and death for our sisters, and a commitment to a better world we want to build for every one of our children.

(This piece originally appeared at ABC.com’s Million Moms Challenge)

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Posted in Africa, China, Global education, Women | 2 Comments »

ABC News/UN Foundation: Million Moms Challenge for World Food Day

October 25th, 2011

In honor of World Food Day, ABC News’ Million Moms Challenge asked me to write a piece that helps parents relate to the meaning of World Food Day and day-to-day concerns for their own families.  Here’s the link to the piece:  World Food Day and Beyond – 5 Steps to Raising an Adventurous and Healthy Eater!

As I try to raise my own adventurous eater, I hope that her journey toward experiencing the exciting palate of global flavors accompanies that of adequate food – and maybe even some choices – for ALL the world’s children, on World Food Day and beyond.

(Here’s the link to my first piece for ABC’s Million Moms Challenge:  Doing the Best I Can – Like the Hummingbird (A Tribute to Wangari Maathai and Heroic Mothers Everywhere)

 

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