Archive for the ‘Articles’ Category

A Family Thanksgiving Tradition That Gives Back

Wednesday, November 21st, 2012

One of our favorite (newer) traditions each Thanksgiving with our large, and usually ornery extended family is what we call the “Global Giving Game.”  I described it in this piece linked and pasted below, which was published – surprisingly! – on FoxNews.com soon after Growing Up Global’s publication.  I’m a little disappointed that all the comments have since been taken down, as they were as (more than?) entertaining as the article, but mostly for their negativity and misinformation.  Most comments went something like, “What a bunch of liberal sissies brainwashing your kids. … Don’t look at problems in other countries; we have our own here. … Don’t teach about being a global citizen, be proud to be an American citizen…”  Yeah – we’ve heard that  before…

Also, note the title of the piece, “A New Black Friday Tradition.”  When Global Giving learned about our activity, they really wanted it to dovetail with their terrific “Great American Sleep-In” campaign, encouraging the avoidance of the malls, big box stores and rampant consumerism.  The two (giving and shopping) don’t need to be mutually exclusive, and every family will make up their own priorities and values, but it’s a great idea, even for a dinner table discussion!

Here’s the link to the original piece: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2009/11/25/homa-tavangar-black-friday-giving-global-giving/.

And here’s the text in it’s entirety, if that’s easier to access. 

A New Black Friday Tradition

By

Published November 25, 2009

FoxNews.com

My large extended family loves Thanksgiving. We make travel arrangements months in advance in anticipation of my mom’s delicious homemade feast. Recently we’ve added a new tradition that begins with an e-mail to everyone who plans to gather around the table Thursday. The e-mail makes no mention of recipes but instead offers instructions and a challenge. It’s tied into a new holiday tradition in our family called Global Giving’s “Great American Sleep In.” This resembles a game, but has real consequences.

While writing the book “Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be At Home in the World” I discovered many ways families could engage with and explore the world – even if they couldn’t purchase plane tickets – and I developed a “toolbox” to help kids have fun and make sense of the world they are inheriting. At home, we decided to hold a “theme dinner” and watch a movie from India, Ireland or Iran, interspersed with our usual Disney classics; we adding dance tunes from Brazil, Sweden and Morocco to our favorite music playlists; we are now engaging in richer conversations at the dinner table and even keeping a globe handy in the kitchen. We’ve enjoyed these new traditions that not only have connected us with the larger world, but have brought us closer as a family.

Likewise, at Thanksgiving, when we usually play games like “Scattergories” or charades we considered an alternative. We asked, “what if we added a fun experience that also made a difference in the world?” It was then that we decided to make giving back a conscious component of our larger family gathering. I learned about so many great causes while writing “Growing Up Global,” the biggest challenge seemed: “which one to choose?” Luckily I found a solution to this conundrum at GlobalGiving (www.globalgiving.org). This terrific organization operates like an Amazon.com or an eBay for charitable giving in the U.S. and overseas. You can “shop” for the cause that most appeals to you and get involved as much or as little as you wish. So how does it work?

Between the main meal and dessert at our Thanksgiving feast last year we divided the family into teams. Each team had a laptop and navigated the GlobalGiving.org Web site (if you’re doing this with your family you can also play together around one computer). We allowed each group twenty minutes to come up with a team recommendation; then the entire group got to choose one charity from among these to support. Our family teams passionately debated the merits of providing lunches for students in Burkina Faso, or foster care for abandoned infants in the U.S. We were most challenged by having to decide on a single project — the needs of the world seemed too big to narrow our choices down in such a short time, or ever. Finally, we decided on a program supporting girls’ education in Afghanistan.

For foodie families like ours, proposing anything new at Thanksgiving took some getting used to. Responses ranged from skepticism to curiosity, and eventually, enthusiasm. The youngest ones came the most prepared. They proudly shared money saved from allowances and the tooth fairy, ranging from 78 cents to $3.00.

The challenge spurred a family discussion around the question “Why care?” Conversations with my kindergartner influenced even the most cynical members of our family. We talked about how all the people of the world function like a human body. Our liver might not be aware of our little toe, but if you hurt your little toe and the pain doesn’t go away, the whole body suffers. Likewise, we can be affected by someone far away. Their hunger or lack of schooling might not seem connected to us, but eventually it is –whether in the form of a global financial crisis or the spread of anger that turns into terrorism. Here’s another way of thinking about it: if we truly believe that all people are one family, God’s children, then we wouldn’t want our family to suffer.

Our goal wasn’t to raise big money, $10 dollars here, $5 dollars there would suffice but over the course of the game something else happened — wallets and checkbooks kept opening. For the rest of the evening and even into the New Year, our family’s conversations returned to the GlobalGiving experience and the girls’ school in Afghanistan. This year we’re taking things a step further with the “Great American Sleep-In.” Instead of braving the mall traffic on Black Friday to acquire one more gadget or tie for dad, we think we might help to transform a life in his name, with a gift that gives back through GlobalGiving.

Our little interlude between turkey and dessert helped open our eyes to tremendous and complex needs. At the same time, we felt optimistic and empowered that great things are being made possible by good people all over the planet. Their causes helped to unite us, from age 5 to 93, around a common vision of hope and giving. And for this, my family is truly grateful.

Homa S. Tavangar is the author of “Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be At Home in the World,” released Fall 2009 by Ballantine Books, a division of Random House, and named a “Best New Parenting Book” from Scholastic Parent & Child. Visit her at www.growingupglobal.net. Join the “Great American Sleep In” at http://www.globalgiving.org/gifts-black-friday/

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2009/11/25/homa-tavangar-black-friday-giving-global-giving/#ixzz2CrsR4m3j

 

How Do You Define a Great Mom?

Friday, May 11th, 2012

A friend of Growing Up Global, Heidi Stevens from the Chicago Tribune, recently contacted me to ask about who I might remember as a memorable mom, with some unique, magnetic qualities that stuck with me.  Her story that resulted is here:

Channeling Supermoms: What defines wonderful mothers? They’re the ones we can’t forget


Here’s my original response to the question, which has been excerpted:

I’ve been lucky to have been surrounded by many amazing mothers, notably my own! I recently was “found” on Facebook by a friend from my neighborhood in elementary school and as much as I remember her, I remember her mother even more clearly, who was the first French person I think I’d ever met.  Unlike so many immigrants in the early 1970s, this mom wasn’t trying to blend in or give in to the pressure of her children to be like everyone else.  Her husband was an all-American guy from Indiana, and I don’t recall anything French about him, except his wife.  Unlike most other moms, who came outside in a housedress or sweatpants and curlers and who considered a special meal a Salisbury steak TV dinner, Bernadette (I can’t believe I remember her name!) always looked fashionable, wore light make-up and heels in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, made gorgeous French dinners, and never, ever spoke English with her children.  Now I realize that I often positioned myself to play at their house before dinner so that I could see what they were having and possibly be invited to stay over.  (Although my mom also cooked full Persian meals, never cutting corners with frozen food.)  More importantly, now I realize that I was influenced by how exotic and glamorous and interesting she was, at the same time that she was friendly and funny and totally down-to-earth.  I never thought of this before, but her example might have planted a seed for my own interest in learning French, in travelling and in becoming “that” mom that was not afraid to be herself, while also really interested in her kids and her neighborhood.

My mom and her friend, fellow adult college students ca. 1975

Then I wrote her a clarification:

I want to add that my telling this story is NOT TO FEED the French Parenting frenzy!!  I realized later that this might give such an impression.  My point here was not the mother’s “French-ness,” but rather her poise and pride in who she was – different from most others in her setting – that made such an impression on me.  (Also, it’s more similar to my own mother’s experience.  These were the two immigrant mothers in the neighborhood at the time, and my mother also carried (and continue to do so) herself with grace and was a great cook – even on weeknights.  So it may have also validated my own mother’s different-ness.

Didn’t want to analyze myself here, but just clarifying that I hope it doesn’t come across as a French Parents Are Superior nostalgia!

Time's Cover - Hoping to Fuel the Mommy Wars

I also found it interesting that this story ran in the syndicated Tribune shortly before Time Magazine’s incendiary cover photo titled “Are You Mom Enough” with a gorgeous young mom breastfeeding her almost-4 year old.  The actual story was about Dr. Sears’ attachment parenting approach, but the cover was intended to sell magazines, fanning the flames of media-manufactured mommy-wars.  Can you tell how I feel about that so-called controversy?

Spur the Global Economy – Stay Home and Make a Difference This Thanksgiving

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

(This piece has been featured on the Homepage of ABC’s Million Moms Challenge; with the full text on the blog here, on the Huffington Post, in Global Giving’s news and below.)

Feeling the pressure of tighter consumer spending, giant retailers catering to bargain hunters will open earlier than ever this Black Friday, on Thanksgiving Thursday.  Imagining the stampede of shoppers is enough to give me indigestion, even before I take a bite of turkey.  But it doesn’t have to be that way. My family has found a way to support the global economy by staying home and acquiring nothing – with a game that’s become a tradition.

Right after our Thanksgiving meal, we always play games like Scattergories or watch a classic movie, and now, whoever wishes from our big, opinionated extended family joins in for what has become known as our “Global Giving Game.”   As part of our day of abundant eating and giving thanks, giving back has become part of the routine everyone comes to expect.  Our giving game feels like a continuation of the prayer uttered before the meal – a conscious act uniting far-flung family members that come together for the holiday with each other and with those we’ve never met around the planet.

After about a 3-minute orientation on the GlobalGiving.org website we break into “teams” with about five people in each, depending on how many people have brought laptops.  Each team logs in to the GlobalGiving website and starts discussing various issue areas they might like to support – from democracy to disaster aid to education, maternal health and hunger.  The issues and possibilities can get overwhelming, and we need to accommodate ages ranging from six to ninety, so we deliberately wedge this “game” between dinner and dessert.  We give each team only about twenty minutes to come up with a recommendation that the entire group would then consider and vote on.

As the groups navigate the site, discussions around the computers get richer and more serious.  People were fascinated by the range of innovative programs and were drawn in by the desperate needs all over the world.  I heard the team of little girls talking with one of the grandmothers about what it’s like when there’s no clean water and the day must be spent walking to fetch water for the family instead of going to school, and another “team” discussing the merits of supporting computers in U.S. classrooms versus vaccines for kids in Africa.  Possibly the biggest challenge in the process was to get people to decide on a single project to recommend – they felt the needs were simply too big to narrow down their choices in such a short time.  This itself was a great learning experience.  The first year we were able to narrow it down to one choice between four teams: to support girls’ education in Afghanistan, as this satisfied interests for women’s empowerment, education, health, and U.S. and global security.  The second year we couldn’t narrow to just one, so we supported an education project in the United States , maternal health globally, and water wells at needy schools in Kenya.

Once we make the difficult choice of which project(s) to support, we put a wooden box in the middle of the coffee table for whoever wants to contribute an anonymous donation.  The youngest kids prepare in advance, so they bring their own money set aside from their savings.  It’s always exciting to count the total from our group effort.  We emphasize that this isn’t meant to replace personal philanthropic giving nor to put anyone on the spot, and we won’t pass around a collection box.  Our goal wasn’t to raise big money, but to give everyone a taste of this process.  The first year we raised $197, then, when we counted, my cousin’s 6-year old daughter ran to get her $3 and a brother-in-law gave his promised $0.27 worth to take us to a total of $200.27.

Each year the experience has far surpassed my expectations.  Amidst homemade pecan, pumpkin, key lime, and chocolate mousse pies and my mom’s amazing chocolate-swirled cheesecake, conversations about global issues inevitably continue across generations.  I noticed the next day so many of us had Facebook statuses that were inspired by our little Global Giving Game.

This year, with many of our family members signed on to the Million Moms Challenge, I’m looking forward to seeing what creative solutions we might find, and my now eight-year old and her cousins have already set aside allowance money to bring for the best bargain we might find on Black Friday – the “priceless” gifts of uniting as a family, learning, and making a difference in lives near or far.

The more we learned about the needs of families worldwide, the more we connected, taking to heart the simple fact: we all want to raise healthy babies and kids.

BBC World Service – Global Families Series Features Growing Up Global

Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

I was recently interviewed via Skype for the BBC World Service.  They were doing a series on “How Global is Your Family” and for this segment, the delightful interviewer spontaneously veered in the direction of all those people who might not think they actually are “global,” inviting me to make a case for why people should read Growing Up Global.  Despite a rocky start (out of context clip of me talking about myself), I was happy they included our bit of banter at the end.  All-in-all, much fun and I was honored that the BBC sought me out!  Click on the link below to listen to the short interview:

Homa BBC iv

How to Save Multiculturalism – Article for GOOD.is

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

Here is a link to an article I wrote that was published in the education section of GOOD.is entitled “How to Save Multiculturalism