Archive for the ‘Flexibility’ Category

On my packing list: Multiple ‘gowns’, a duffel bag full of books, and a permission slip from the hubby. Traveling to Dubai with a 9-year old – tonight!

Tuesday, May 14th, 2013

 

I’ve wrapped up a BIG project – the draft manuscript for The K-5 Global Education Toolkit (with my wonderful co-author, Becky Morales, www.kidworldcitizen.org).  Yippee. Yay. Sigh of relief. Trepidation…  Now I’m turning my attention to the big trip I’m taking tonight with “Tiny Dancer,” aka “the tiny one,” aka Soph Soph, aka the almost-10 y.o. 4th grader who was just a pre-schooler when I was writing Growing Up Global, Sophia.  I will be visiting two international schools while there (not disclosing their names yet, as I need to make sure they are ok with that!), speaking to an audience of parents, and last, but not least, attending a wedding extravaganza for my dear cousin’s daughter who is getting married on May 17, which also is the 50th wedding anniversary of my parents.  Yes, I am feeling a sensory overload!

So, the packing is a bit complicated.  The actual wedding calls for not one, but TWO “gowns” – a short one for the ceremony and a long one for the party which will probably go all night.  My understanding is that we will attend the ceremony then go back to our hotels for a nap and change of clothes, to return to the party a few hours later.  This is the sort of wedding party where dinner is served probably between 11 pm -12 midnight and children are most definitely welcome!  I’m also packing two more long dresses “just in case,” one for my sister who is meeting us from Berlin (can’t wait to see you!).  And the shoes and other accessories to go with each. Then there’s what to wear during the daytime, accounting for cultural sensitivity (but not too much, I am told, for Dubai); and what to wear in the evenings, which will mostly be comprised of dinners for the bride and groom, hosted by various family members.

I have a large duffel bag filled with copies of my book, to take to my talks. It was too complicated to try to order the books to arrive in Dubai on time, so I will be schlepping them across the planet — of course, isn’t that what every author would do?!?!?

Another important thing I am packing: a notarized letter from my dear husband, attesting that I am not kidnapping Sophia and he has our blessing to travel without him.  Parents: if one of you is taking the kids ANYWHERE on a plane, domestic or international, you need one of these.

All the packing of items for different categories of activity make this trip even more exciting to me. I am so grateful to be able to combine these elements — global education and family celebration — in one action-packed week!

Stay tuned for more updates (and follow my Twitter and Facebook for more frequent posts).

5 Lessons I Learned Hosting An Exchange Student

Thursday, August 4th, 2011

(Originally posted on Huffington Post Education.)

We had been bracing ourselves for the last day of our exchange student “daughter” Lucie’s stay with us.  Over the year the five members of our family had each developed inside jokes with her, had favorite things to do, from actually enjoying practicing piano with her, to predicting the outcome of each episode of Top Model, to watching for exotic birds out the window.  We also had experienced a range of emotions together that only comes from living under the same roof as family.

Our last hearty American breakfast everyone pitched in to make was filled with surprises.  Lucie and her parents had thoughtfully selected and packaged gifts for each of the five of us, and it turns out the rest of my family had each selected or made personal mementos for her, too.  That sunny, late-June morning felt more like Christmas, but punctuated by heavy hearts and lots of tears.  And that’s where the biggest surprise came.  Saying good-bye brought out heartfelt emotions, where the closeness we had grown to feel for our new daughter and even our greater appreciation for the rest of our family felt so palpable.  In the midst of our collective, emotional good-bye, I realized that our giving had given so much to us: the life-long bond of a new member of the family, and many lessons – or gifts – we’ll carry throughout our lives.  Here are a few lessons I take from my year as a host mom:

  1. It’s Never the Perfect Time – So Just Do It.  When a friend called to tell us about the need for hosting a nice girl from abroad who could attend our local high school, the last thing I expected given my own busy professional schedule and full plate of activities for everyone in the family was to add another child (my kids were in 12th, 10th, and 2nd grades this past academic year).  Yet somehow when my husband and I discussed it between ourselves and then with our children, we thought ‘why not’ – we have many gifts, let’s share some.  As long as the student knew that we couldn’t entertain her like a tourist, and she attended our local public school, we thought we’d be ok.  And we were!
  2. Global understanding grows best when it’s personal and ‘local’.  Just short of moving abroad ourselves, hosting proved to be an unparalleled cultural education.  So many of our assumptions about her food, habits, or attitudes weren’t quite right, yet so many of our values – especially among the parents – were similar.  Given the need for our children’s generation to gain global competence for the jobs of the 21st Century, these personal experiences right from home will give them confidence in socializing, working, solving problems, and finding new ways to communicate with diverse colleagues and friends.
  3. Kids in many countries think the English word for “smile” is “CHEESE”! During unexpected moments, like posing for a picture, Lucie shared casual insights that you can’t learn from a book or a movie.  Sharing our day-in, day-out lives opened windows for refreshing surprises – the kind that you have to experience for yourself.
  4. Hosting an exchange student helps kids cultivate more meaningful, life-long relationships Unlike hanging out with a friend only when they’re in the mood, living under the same roof means riding to school at 6:45 a.m. when no one wants to be cheerful, eating dinner together after an exhausting day, and everything in between – in stark contrast to today’s texting and IM’ing among ‘friends’ whose experiences often remain superficial.  Adapting to living with someone raised by different parents can teach our kids much about their tolerance for different habits, and become better communicators and more cooperative, assertive, flexible, resilient, patient, grateful, compassionate and forgiving adults (and college students!).
  5. Life can be seen with a new lens.  Lucie took 17,732 photos from our year together (I’m not kidding – she counted and posted the number on Facebook, and yes, we are Facebook friends!), often at angles that we wouldn’t have considered.  After hearing this astounding number of snapshots, it struck me that her active camera offered a lens on the value of our family and the way we live our lives.  And yes, it also caused my daughters to smile more, argue less (a bit less), and maybe even grow from that process of reflection that a new family member and a new “lens” brings.

Of course, there are so many more reasons, and each host family experience will bring different lessons, or gifts, but it certainly is a step worth considering, especially in these highly connected, globally-changing times we live in, where face-to-face still wins over virtual friendship. If you’d like to learn more about hosting, EF Foundation has a great support network and track record for matching up U.S. families with pre-screened youth from around the world.

————————————

Homa S. Tavangar is the author of Growing Up Global and is a spokesperson for EF Foundation for Foreign Study.

A Different Take on Michelle Obama’s Spain Vacation

Monday, August 16th, 2010

My family and I have just returned from  an unforgettable vacation, which, given the firestorm in the U.S. press, I’m a little embarrassed to admit, and feel I need to justify:  We went to Spain – at the same time as Michelle and Sasha Obama and girlfriends, and to many of the same spots (though in different lodgings).  It was my husband and my 20th Wedding Anniversary, and to save for this trip we set aside an amount from paychecks each month for a Travel Fund to make it possible.  I’m well aware this remains an incredible privilege on many levels, but I felt compelled to share what Mrs. Obama’s trip looked like from the perspective “over there.”

As many are aware, Spain, known for gorgeous landscapes, beaches and soccer players, seductive flamenco, fine art and architecture is also marked by a millennium of outright racism, ethnic cleansing, and stark brutality, well into the 20th Century.  With democracy opening in the country since 1975, it is now celebrated as a vibrant center of art and soul and beauty and relaxation – but nowhere is perfect.  Friends of ours who have resettled into Spain bemoaned the surprising levels of bias voiced openly against anyone not Catholic and fair-skinned.  While historically rich and gorgeous cities like Toledo, Seville and Granada flourished thanks to the peaceful coexistence of Jews, Muslims and Catholics for as much as seven hundred years, long Holy Wars, the Inquisition, Civil War, and dictatorship have left bitter remainders of prejudice in too many hearts and minds and institutions.

So, I found the on-the-ground response to Mrs. Obama’s visit to Southern Spain quite remarkable.  As we drove through the nearby countryside, radio stations eagerly reported everything from tips on how crowds could fight the heat while waiting hours to catch a glimpse of the First Lady’s visit at a nearby Cathedral, to Sasha’s favorite ice cream flavor ordered earlier that day at a popular shop.  It was as if the dignity of this strong, stylish, smart, black American woman, mother, professional and leader captured the highest ideals of their nation and might even help them atone for their past sins and present economic woes.

Spanish Crowds Wave American Flags

Deliberate or not, Mrs. Obama’s itinerary (which I gathered from the local radio reports) seemed to mock anyone clinging to old prejudices:  In one city she visited the main Cathedral first, then went to the 11th Century Moorish (Muslim) palace.  That same day the group also ventured up to the caves of the Gypsies, where traditional local music has been performed for centuries.   The glossy magazine Hola! (think People magazine obsessed with the royal families of Europe) covered Mrs. Obama’s trip, including the visit to the Gypsies, one of the most continuously reviled, marginalized minority groups on the continent, and certainly not among the glamorized set.  Photos show her clapping and enjoying the flamenco folklore, and might be one of the first instances of the culture shown in a positive light among the magazine’s glitterati.  The constant, enthusiastic news reports about the Obama visit in Spanish media carried a strong message between the lines:  these Americans come in all colors, interests, and backgrounds.  They can show us how to value our own minorities and marginalized.  This is what makes them so awesome.  We are their friends.  We want to be like them.  They respect us and value our cultural contributions, as we value theirs.

Mrs. Obama with gypsies of Granada, Spain

I wish Mrs. Obama’s trip would have cost zero taxpayer dollars, but the reality is that anywhere the First Lady travels she’ll need Secret Service and a private plane.  They can’t stay at a youth hostel, or squeeze their towels like sardines on the packed Mediterranean beach.  As I read some of the Twitterati’s criticism, beyond the cost, it seemed that the very act of taking her daughter off American soil and (gasp!) enjoying this experience denoted a cardinal sin.  Giving her daughter the gift of foreign travel is a priceless privilege, made particularly sweet by the joy and wonder that comes with Sasha’s young age.  Travelling outside our borders can become a goal for any family or child, as a uniquely enriching, attainable, affordable experience (particularly through scholarships for youth, like those offered by Rotary International and NSLI-Y, or exchanges like AFS; click here for more ideas on raising children with a global perspective even without travel).

If any American travelling abroad instantly serves as an informal cultural ambassador, the First Family’s visit certainly had an impact beyond fun.  In April 2004 Spain withdrew troops from the Coalition of the Willing fighting in Iraq, amidst an overwhelming wave of anti-American, anti-war feeling.  The presence of Mrs. Obama and the pride for the USA evoked by her image and visit among the Spanish and Europe in general is helping steer sentiment back in a positive direction toward America.  The price to pay for stronger alliances, customers for American products, and good-will is certainly worth a few nights in a five-star hotel or missing her husband’s birthday dinner one year.

Chicago Sun-Times Feature: Feeding kids’ interest in global cuisine

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

Chicago Sun-Times

Feeding kids’ interest in global cuisine

Never too early to foster appreciation for other cultures’ foods, say chefs

March 17, 2010

BY MAUREEN JENKINS

Wave chef Kristine Subido’s 5-year-old son Kamlin — who’s already traveled to his mom’s native Philippines twice — has a well-developed global palate.

He’ll happily eat a whole fish, including the cheeks. He adores Japanese cucumber salad, the bitter goodness of Chinese broccoli, Swiss chard and sauteed turnip greens — “and he’ll tell me if it’s bland,” says Subido, who is known for her liberal use of global spices at the W Chicago-Lakeshore restaurant. “He makes sure I do the red chili flakes, garlic and the olive oil.”

Two-year-old Talia Foss cracks an egg like a pro to the delight of her parents, Keni and Phillip Foss, while little sis Noa keeps busy with parsley. Phillip Foss, the chef at Lockwood, and his wife encourage kitchen play to expand their daughters’ palates.

(Al Podgorski/Sun-Times)

PHOTO GALLERY

Nurturing a global palate

And this young foodie always peppers his chef mom about the ingredients used when they cook together in their Chicago kitchen. So much so that he tells Subido, “I want to be a cooker when I grow up.”

Like mother, like son.

“In his school, they’re very diverse, so that helps,” says Subido, whose family came to the United States when she was 8. “In his classroom, you see every color, which is great because he’s biracial.” When it comes to food, “he’s one of the more adventurous of his friends.”

Cuisine offers a delicious way for kids to connect to other cultures. But raising youngsters with global palates don’t happen by accident. It’s all about exposure — and best of all, you don’t need to board an airplane to get it.

We Chicago area dwellers are fortunate, as we’ve got a veritable smorgasbord to choose from when it comes to restaurants, ethnic grocery stores and markets that can serve as the setting for tasty cultural lessons.

“It’s been such a timeless tradition over history, bringing people to your table,” says Homa Sabet Tavangar, author of Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be At Home in the World (Ballantine Books, $16).

This international business consultant and mother of three daughters gives parents tools to help their kids develop a global perspective, whether learning how to say hello in different languages or throwing an internationally themed birthday party. She serves up the topic of eating in a chapter called “Break Bread.”

“So much diplomacy and friendship and getting to know people and ‘meeting the parents’ [is done] over dinner or a meal. It really has been such a powerful tool,” says Tavangar, the daughter of Persian parents who is fluent in four languages.

Tavangar, who has lived in the Middle East, Africa, South America and throughout the United States, recently spoke at an Executives’ Club of Chicago women’s leadership breakfast.

“One of our first natural instincts is to nourish ourselves,” says Lockwood chef Phillip Foss, the dad of already adventurous toddler eaters. “When you begin at an early age, you’re halfway there already.”

Foss — who’s lived and worked in Hawaii, Bermuda, France and Israel — and his wife try to get nearly 3-year-old Talia “involved as much as possible in day-to-day [food] preparation. My wife’s got a great touch with doughs and breads. You get [kids’] hands into it, show ’em it’s fun, and it comes out of their personalities.”

Already, Talia loves Jerusalem couscous, which her Israeli mom makes from scratch.

“The best you can do is expose [kids] as much as possible,” says Foss, whose children’s menu at the restaurant in the Palmer House Hilton features roasted salmon nuggets and “market greens” as well as the more predictable grilled cheese sandwich and mini-hot dog.

“Take them to markets in the summer, to farms,” he says. “The most amazing thing about kids is their capacity and desire to learn. They’re all about fun and colors.”

Although Foss’ wife — who does most of the family’s cooking — keeps a kosher kitchen, “We do some Asian food, certainly French and Italian. My wife brings in Tunisian [where her parents are from], a lot of Middle Eastern influences, Indian. We try to keep it diverse.”

And when you’re on the road, suggests Subido, keep feeding kids’ interest in global cuisine.

“Go to the markets first instead of the restaurants,” says Subido, who makes her own baby food for 6-month-old Shamariyah. “Look at all the different fruits and vegetables. Really ask [the kids] a lot of questions.”

Before visiting the Philippines, she and Kamlin “talked about what kinds of foods came from there,” she says. “What he really wanted to do was drink from a coconut with a straw.”

But what if culinary diversity isn’t so close at hand? Now living in a fairly homogenous Philadelphia suburb, Tavangar makes it a priority to visit West African eateries in the city (she took her kids to live in Gambia for part of 2007 to expose them to life abroad).

“It’s one reason I was interested in this book,” she says. “I wanted my children to experience the world. By not being part of the diversity of the world, it was like we were being deprived of one of our senses.”

Grownups can help young people hone these senses by showing their own willingness to sample global tastes.

With kids, “the younger you start, the better,” Tavangar says. “It’s like developing a muscle. The Food Network and Travel Channel certainly have made it fun” to experiment with different cuisines.

And since food brings folks together, why not invite friends to share dishes from your background? Tavangar’s pals have started making her Persian stews and other dishes at their own homes after first sampling them at her house.

“It’s great if you don’t just do it on a special occasion, but you even have it on a Thursday night,” she says. “You have to plan a little bit ahead, but that’s something the family can look forward to sitting down to together.

“You’re having a ‘staycation’—you’re not going anywhere, but you still want to have an international experience with your family. That’s just a really nice thing to share.”

Maureen Jenkins is a Chicago free-lance writer who blogs at UrbanTravelGirl.com.

Parents: Go ethnic when eating out or on road

More tips from author Homa Sabet Tavangar (growingupglobal.net) on helping kids develop a “global palate”:

It’s a small world, after all. Help kids see the similarities in foods eaten around the world. We all eat bread, but it can take the form of tortillas, naan, pita or challah. Likewise, noodles can be Italian capellini, Greek orzo or Asian rice noodles. Sample these at home or at restaurants.

Cook up some fun. Kids are more willing to taste something they made — or helped make — themselves. Help them prepare international dishes as part of a tasty at-home lesson, and invite their friends to join in.

Travel the world by dining out. You don’t need a passport to dine at a Ethiopian, Korean or Persian restaurant in the Chicago area. Ethnic eateries tend to be affordable and casual. Consider visiting one whose people are currently in the news. Learn a few words of the country’s language from the waiter. Even better: Tie a restaurant visit to a cultural event such as a foreign movie, museum exhibit or concert.

On the road, make even fast food “global.” Traveling to Hawaii or a foreign country? If your kids love McDonald’s, drop in to see how local specialties find their way onto the menu. (“Burgers” are made of lamb, chicken or veggies in India; shrimp nuggets are served in Japan.) Or sample the country’s own “fast food,” which may be falafels and shawarmas in the Middle East, or tacos and other hand-held specialties sold by street cart vendors in Mexico.

Spice up your holidays. Add a global twist to Thanksgiving or other holiday menus by incorporating dishes from your family’s own cultural heritage — or someone else’s. Use different spices and herbs. Go Indian with slow-cooked curried turkey, and put a Mexican spin on leftovers the next day with turkey enchiladas.

Maureen Jenkins

Fingers or Forks?

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

During the discussion after one of the presentations I gave in Chicago recently, one mother sparked some interesting questions.  She represented so many perspectives that can’t fit in a neat box.  A Mexican-American, with a standard Midwest accent, she was wearing a tightly closed headscarf, so I first took her for an Arab mother.  When she spoke up, she mentioned that she converted to Islam before meeting her future husband.  People make assumptions about her: that she converted after she married, and probably is repressed or forced to cover up – but this is so far from her reality.

We leaped from this demographic intersection to her immediate dilemma: Fingers or utensils at the table? And how to enforce consistent rules for our children to follow?  The parents in the room, regardless of their ethnic and religious background, inched a little forward in their seats to engage in a universal question.

She visited Morocco with her husband and two young daughters this summer, where the extended family, like all traditional Moroccans, eat with their hands, usually scooping up food with a piece of flatbread or another edible utensil.  Before this trip she’d spent countless meals with her children reminding them to “use a fork” and “don’t forget your manners.”  But during this exciting international experience, all her guidance seemed useless.  So, what’s a conscientious parent to do?  How do kids navigate a table where sometimes it’s polite to eat with hands only, and other times it’s the height of rude?

Try these strategies, the group and I offered:

  • Talk to them about what they’re about to experience.  When they’re prepared – even minimally, nothing elaborate – for the experience they’re about to have, children as young as 3 or 4 can start to think about the behavior that’s expected of them and will have an easier time with it.  I talk about this in a bit more detail in Growing Up Global Chapter 6, Break Bread.
  • Show them there are different rules for eating, even with familiar American foods.  We eat pizza and hamburgers with our hands, but mashed potatoes and macaroni with forks.  Rules change depending on the food we eat, just like rules might change depending on the country the food comes from.
  • This is a chance to teach the virtue of flexibility.  Along with respect, flexibility might be one of the most important qualities of a global citizen.  When you’re in the midst of gaining understanding about new cultures and the ways of other people, your expectation of the way things should be done needs to shift.  Take a deep breath.  Relax.  Look around.  Things rarely happen in black or white.  Expect some purple – be flexible!
  • Your example is powerful.  If you welcome new experiences, like a new cuisine, new table manners, or an altogether new environment, your children will take their cue from your words, actions, and overall vibe.

Moroccan food in Indianapolis! (from blog.indy.org)

See how your children will respond to a similar situation.  Enjoy a special meal at a Moroccan or Ethiopian restaurant if there’s one within driving distance.  Prepare them for this experience by talking about what kind of food you might like eating, some of the table manners to expect (e.g., eating with hands is ok; scoop up the food with the flatbreads provided), find the country on the map, and look for a good slide show on-line to show real life and beauty in that place (there are so many, but here are a few:

http://www.nationalgeographic.com/adventure/images/0804/morocco-slides/index.html, http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/morocco/show/, http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2009/03/08/travel/0308-marrakesh_index.html – this one comes from a short piece “Taking the Kids to Marrakesh”).  Also, check out the Global Nomads Group (gng.org or my favorite – join their Fan group on Facebook) and get updates from their Semester at Sea, including the recent stop in Morocco.  These are just some links to Morocco experiences, there are as many on Ethiopia.  What other countries’ cuisine is eaten predominantly by hand?  (Also, note that when you go to a Moroccan or other restaurant, you may eat with a fork if you prefer!)

Finally, as I think about fingers as utensils, I’d like to offer a humble tribute to the man who made it possible for millions to scoop their meal with a piece of bread:  Norman Borlaug.  He died Saturday at the age of 95, and was credited for saving many millions from starvation because of his agricultural breakthroughs known as the Green Revolution (yes, I realize there’s controversy here…).  It’s said he was working a field in Mexico when he received news he won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1970.  He dedicated himself to making sure the world’s dinner tables had something for everyone.