Archive for the ‘friends’ Category

What Makes Life Worth Living?

Monday, May 7th, 2012

I was fascinated by this idea, written by William Deresiewicz, in The American Scholar, on what really matters in life.  By focusing on meaning and joy and creativity and wonder, there is a common connection with the life of the spirit.  It doesn’t matter what labels the writer ascribes to.  He’s shared something eloquent that can give anyone pause and make us think harder.  It also serves as an important lesson for parents in passing on universal values:

Look at lists of “100 Things to Do Before You Die,” and you’ll find them dominated by exotic sensations of one kind or another (“Skydive”; “Shower in a waterfall”; “Eat jellied eels from a stall in London”).

Really? This is the best we can do? This is what it’s all about? These are the things that make our lives worth living? When I think about what really makes me happy, what I really crave, I come up with a very different list: concentrated, purposeful work, especially creative work; being with people I love; feeling like I’m part of something larger. Meaning, connectedness, doing strenuously what you do well: not sights, not thrills, and not even pleasures, as welcome as they are. Not passivity, not letting the world come in and tickle you, but creativity, curiosity, altruism, engagement, craft. Raising children, or teaching students, or hanging out with friends. Playing music, not listening to it. Making things, or making them happen. Thinking hard and feeling deeply.

None of which involve spending money, except in an ancillary way. None of which, in other words, are consumer experiences.

One thing I’d add to the experiences that don’t involve material pursuits : if you CAN experience them while exploring a new culture, eating jellied eels from a stall [anywhere], then that might be the definition of awesome. The point is, look for opportunities to find meaning and connection wherever you are, mindfully and contentedly, feeding your soul.  In the world and times in which we live, the possibilities are unlimited and start with an open mind and heart.

You Don’t Have to Be Chinese to Celebrate the Year of the Dragon – Lunar New Year

Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

The Year of the Dragon celebrations offer a great opportunity to grow our understanding of the world – while having fun with our kids.  Before you good-intentionally blurt out “Happy Chinese New Year,” to colleagues and neighbors – stop!  “Chinese New Year” represents a subset of the cultures that celebrate.  It’s also a festivity in Vietnam, Korea, Japan, Nepal, Thailand, Mongolia, Brunei, Indonesia, and more, with some of the biggest festivals taking place in Canada and Australia.  So, say “Happy Lunar New Year!” And some call it Spring Festival, even though to many of us in colder locales that feels like a stretch.

You also don’t have to be East Asian to celebrate.  My family is Iranian-American and some of our favorite memories are of making fresh dumplings with neighbors in the deep winter for the New Year, attending Philadelphia’s Chinatown parade followed by a dim sum feast with transplants from four continents, and for our girls, wearing the traditional Chinese silk brocade dress, that comes in every color and size.

I was struck by President Obama’s 40-second Lunar New Year greeting (click here to watch), which he put in the context of his own fond memories: “growing up in Hawaii I remember all the excitement surrounding the Lunar New Year, from the parades and the fireworks to the smaller gatherings with family and friends.  It’s always been a time for celebration and for hope. ” He also uses this as an occasion to remind Americans that we gain strength from our diversity – a message that can resonate whatever your political leanings (unless, of course, you think that Mitt Romney’s French language abilities are a liability).

Did the President celebrate with his Kansan grandparents, who were vital to his upbringing and support system, or with his mother after her return from Indonesia, or more likely, with all of them, since Lunar New Year has been integrated into Hawaiian life, too?  These celebrations may have been formative to the American President who has been criticized for stating he is “an American citizen and a citizen of the world.”  Having a personal experience of something as joyous and free from an agenda as celebrating a new holiday with friends can widen the vision of the possibilities for our own lives, especially at a formative age: what second language we might learn, where we might study or do business, who our friends and loved ones can be, art that resonates, food and music we enjoy, and more.  It also helps us become more compassionate to the lives of others – near or far.

This year is particularly portentous as the Year of the Dragon, a symbol of power and excellence, courage, heroism and perseverance, nobility and divinity. With all the power a dragon has, he uses it benevolently.  This wisdom and restraint is a source of wealth and respect.

So, make dumplings; finally learn how to eat gracefully with chopsticks; learn a phrase in Mandarin or Vietnamese; reach out to a new immigrant family in your community; or get to know the couple that runs the ethnic shop nearby.  And imagine: how will you be a wise and kind dragon, radiant on the inside, spreading beauty and promise on the outside?

 

Teaching Human Rights – Start at Home

Sunday, December 11th, 2011

On Friday I visited Philadelphia’s Independence Charter School, where the entire school day was dedicated to an inspiring Human Rights Day program for all the kids.  I plan to write a full piece on that soon, but in the meantime wanted to share a few ideas on International Human Rights Day, which was this past weekend.

Here’s the link to a video from UNICEF highlighting the Convention on the Rights of the Child, the most ratified global treaty – ever.

(UNICEF) Overview: Convention on the Rights of the Child

The video gives a clear idea about what the Convention on the Rights of the Child is, and emphasizes seeing children as actors that can make a difference in our society.  This means seeing our children with new, respectful eyes.  Listening to them, caring for them, educating them in meaningful ways that ensure they will have the wherewithal to make impact for an ever-advancing civilization.

UNICEF’s website includes curricular materials starting with middle grades: http://teachunicef.org/explore/topic/child-rights-crc.

For younger children, I believe human rights begins with a discussion of how we treat the people all around us.  This means siblings and parents, and even self-care and consideration.  The ever-present issue of bullying is relevant here.  I wrote a short piece for PBS Parents on how instilling a global vision in kids can serve as an antidote to bullying.  It’s linked here.  At Independence Charter, they started the discussion with kindergartners, beginning with watching the film Ant Bully.  As kids got older, the films got more serious and intense, corresponding with the maturity of the grade. (K-8) (Film list forthcoming, too.)

The UNICEF video starts with stark pictures of desperate kids mostly in very poor countries.  Some kids (and adults) are feeling a backlash to being fed desperate images to get them to think about anything other than videogames, TV shows and the like.  If parents want to start a thoughtful conversation about Human Rights Day, or “Have you ever thought about human rights and what it means?” they could start with an open-ended question at the dinner table or a car ride to just launch thinking about the issue.  Make it personal.  What does it look like in YOUR life?  What about in the life of a friend or relative who emigrated to this country?  What conditions might have been different there?  How can we take our human rights into our own hands? What virtues are displayed when you consider human rights, and especially when you take your rights into your own hands?

Then, after ideas are kicked around, look at the UNICEF materials and videos, to add definition and clarity.

We never have to wait for International Day of (Fill in the Blank) to focus on an issue, but it helps spur our consideration.  Hopefully, every day will be human rights day!

You also can weigh in here, or on my FACEBOOK page.  Thanks!

 

 

Spur the Global Economy – Stay Home and Make a Difference This Thanksgiving

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

(This piece has been featured on the Homepage of ABC’s Million Moms Challenge; with the full text on the blog here, on the Huffington Post, in Global Giving’s news and below.)

Feeling the pressure of tighter consumer spending, giant retailers catering to bargain hunters will open earlier than ever this Black Friday, on Thanksgiving Thursday.  Imagining the stampede of shoppers is enough to give me indigestion, even before I take a bite of turkey.  But it doesn’t have to be that way. My family has found a way to support the global economy by staying home and acquiring nothing – with a game that’s become a tradition.

Right after our Thanksgiving meal, we always play games like Scattergories or watch a classic movie, and now, whoever wishes from our big, opinionated extended family joins in for what has become known as our “Global Giving Game.”   As part of our day of abundant eating and giving thanks, giving back has become part of the routine everyone comes to expect.  Our giving game feels like a continuation of the prayer uttered before the meal – a conscious act uniting far-flung family members that come together for the holiday with each other and with those we’ve never met around the planet.

After about a 3-minute orientation on the GlobalGiving.org website we break into “teams” with about five people in each, depending on how many people have brought laptops.  Each team logs in to the GlobalGiving website and starts discussing various issue areas they might like to support – from democracy to disaster aid to education, maternal health and hunger.  The issues and possibilities can get overwhelming, and we need to accommodate ages ranging from six to ninety, so we deliberately wedge this “game” between dinner and dessert.  We give each team only about twenty minutes to come up with a recommendation that the entire group would then consider and vote on.

As the groups navigate the site, discussions around the computers get richer and more serious.  People were fascinated by the range of innovative programs and were drawn in by the desperate needs all over the world.  I heard the team of little girls talking with one of the grandmothers about what it’s like when there’s no clean water and the day must be spent walking to fetch water for the family instead of going to school, and another “team” discussing the merits of supporting computers in U.S. classrooms versus vaccines for kids in Africa.  Possibly the biggest challenge in the process was to get people to decide on a single project to recommend – they felt the needs were simply too big to narrow down their choices in such a short time.  This itself was a great learning experience.  The first year we were able to narrow it down to one choice between four teams: to support girls’ education in Afghanistan, as this satisfied interests for women’s empowerment, education, health, and U.S. and global security.  The second year we couldn’t narrow to just one, so we supported an education project in the United States , maternal health globally, and water wells at needy schools in Kenya.

Once we make the difficult choice of which project(s) to support, we put a wooden box in the middle of the coffee table for whoever wants to contribute an anonymous donation.  The youngest kids prepare in advance, so they bring their own money set aside from their savings.  It’s always exciting to count the total from our group effort.  We emphasize that this isn’t meant to replace personal philanthropic giving nor to put anyone on the spot, and we won’t pass around a collection box.  Our goal wasn’t to raise big money, but to give everyone a taste of this process.  The first year we raised $197, then, when we counted, my cousin’s 6-year old daughter ran to get her $3 and a brother-in-law gave his promised $0.27 worth to take us to a total of $200.27.

Each year the experience has far surpassed my expectations.  Amidst homemade pecan, pumpkin, key lime, and chocolate mousse pies and my mom’s amazing chocolate-swirled cheesecake, conversations about global issues inevitably continue across generations.  I noticed the next day so many of us had Facebook statuses that were inspired by our little Global Giving Game.

This year, with many of our family members signed on to the Million Moms Challenge, I’m looking forward to seeing what creative solutions we might find, and my now eight-year old and her cousins have already set aside allowance money to bring for the best bargain we might find on Black Friday – the “priceless” gifts of uniting as a family, learning, and making a difference in lives near or far.

The more we learned about the needs of families worldwide, the more we connected, taking to heart the simple fact: we all want to raise healthy babies and kids.

5 Lessons I Learned Hosting An Exchange Student

Thursday, August 4th, 2011

(Originally posted on Huffington Post Education.)

We had been bracing ourselves for the last day of our exchange student “daughter” Lucie’s stay with us.  Over the year the five members of our family had each developed inside jokes with her, had favorite things to do, from actually enjoying practicing piano with her, to predicting the outcome of each episode of Top Model, to watching for exotic birds out the window.  We also had experienced a range of emotions together that only comes from living under the same roof as family.

Our last hearty American breakfast everyone pitched in to make was filled with surprises.  Lucie and her parents had thoughtfully selected and packaged gifts for each of the five of us, and it turns out the rest of my family had each selected or made personal mementos for her, too.  That sunny, late-June morning felt more like Christmas, but punctuated by heavy hearts and lots of tears.  And that’s where the biggest surprise came.  Saying good-bye brought out heartfelt emotions, where the closeness we had grown to feel for our new daughter and even our greater appreciation for the rest of our family felt so palpable.  In the midst of our collective, emotional good-bye, I realized that our giving had given so much to us: the life-long bond of a new member of the family, and many lessons – or gifts – we’ll carry throughout our lives.  Here are a few lessons I take from my year as a host mom:

  1. It’s Never the Perfect Time – So Just Do It.  When a friend called to tell us about the need for hosting a nice girl from abroad who could attend our local high school, the last thing I expected given my own busy professional schedule and full plate of activities for everyone in the family was to add another child (my kids were in 12th, 10th, and 2nd grades this past academic year).  Yet somehow when my husband and I discussed it between ourselves and then with our children, we thought ‘why not’ – we have many gifts, let’s share some.  As long as the student knew that we couldn’t entertain her like a tourist, and she attended our local public school, we thought we’d be ok.  And we were!
  2. Global understanding grows best when it’s personal and ‘local’.  Just short of moving abroad ourselves, hosting proved to be an unparalleled cultural education.  So many of our assumptions about her food, habits, or attitudes weren’t quite right, yet so many of our values – especially among the parents – were similar.  Given the need for our children’s generation to gain global competence for the jobs of the 21st Century, these personal experiences right from home will give them confidence in socializing, working, solving problems, and finding new ways to communicate with diverse colleagues and friends.
  3. Kids in many countries think the English word for “smile” is “CHEESE”! During unexpected moments, like posing for a picture, Lucie shared casual insights that you can’t learn from a book or a movie.  Sharing our day-in, day-out lives opened windows for refreshing surprises – the kind that you have to experience for yourself.
  4. Hosting an exchange student helps kids cultivate more meaningful, life-long relationships Unlike hanging out with a friend only when they’re in the mood, living under the same roof means riding to school at 6:45 a.m. when no one wants to be cheerful, eating dinner together after an exhausting day, and everything in between – in stark contrast to today’s texting and IM’ing among ‘friends’ whose experiences often remain superficial.  Adapting to living with someone raised by different parents can teach our kids much about their tolerance for different habits, and become better communicators and more cooperative, assertive, flexible, resilient, patient, grateful, compassionate and forgiving adults (and college students!).
  5. Life can be seen with a new lens.  Lucie took 17,732 photos from our year together (I’m not kidding – she counted and posted the number on Facebook, and yes, we are Facebook friends!), often at angles that we wouldn’t have considered.  After hearing this astounding number of snapshots, it struck me that her active camera offered a lens on the value of our family and the way we live our lives.  And yes, it also caused my daughters to smile more, argue less (a bit less), and maybe even grow from that process of reflection that a new family member and a new “lens” brings.

Of course, there are so many more reasons, and each host family experience will bring different lessons, or gifts, but it certainly is a step worth considering, especially in these highly connected, globally-changing times we live in, where face-to-face still wins over virtual friendship. If you’d like to learn more about hosting, EF Foundation has a great support network and track record for matching up U.S. families with pre-screened youth from around the world.

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Homa S. Tavangar is the author of Growing Up Global and is a spokesperson for EF Foundation for Foreign Study.

A Different Take on Michelle Obama’s Spain Vacation

Monday, August 16th, 2010

My family and I have just returned from  an unforgettable vacation, which, given the firestorm in the U.S. press, I’m a little embarrassed to admit, and feel I need to justify:  We went to Spain – at the same time as Michelle and Sasha Obama and girlfriends, and to many of the same spots (though in different lodgings).  It was my husband and my 20th Wedding Anniversary, and to save for this trip we set aside an amount from paychecks each month for a Travel Fund to make it possible.  I’m well aware this remains an incredible privilege on many levels, but I felt compelled to share what Mrs. Obama’s trip looked like from the perspective “over there.”

As many are aware, Spain, known for gorgeous landscapes, beaches and soccer players, seductive flamenco, fine art and architecture is also marked by a millennium of outright racism, ethnic cleansing, and stark brutality, well into the 20th Century.  With democracy opening in the country since 1975, it is now celebrated as a vibrant center of art and soul and beauty and relaxation – but nowhere is perfect.  Friends of ours who have resettled into Spain bemoaned the surprising levels of bias voiced openly against anyone not Catholic and fair-skinned.  While historically rich and gorgeous cities like Toledo, Seville and Granada flourished thanks to the peaceful coexistence of Jews, Muslims and Catholics for as much as seven hundred years, long Holy Wars, the Inquisition, Civil War, and dictatorship have left bitter remainders of prejudice in too many hearts and minds and institutions.

So, I found the on-the-ground response to Mrs. Obama’s visit to Southern Spain quite remarkable.  As we drove through the nearby countryside, radio stations eagerly reported everything from tips on how crowds could fight the heat while waiting hours to catch a glimpse of the First Lady’s visit at a nearby Cathedral, to Sasha’s favorite ice cream flavor ordered earlier that day at a popular shop.  It was as if the dignity of this strong, stylish, smart, black American woman, mother, professional and leader captured the highest ideals of their nation and might even help them atone for their past sins and present economic woes.

Spanish Crowds Wave American Flags

Deliberate or not, Mrs. Obama’s itinerary (which I gathered from the local radio reports) seemed to mock anyone clinging to old prejudices:  In one city she visited the main Cathedral first, then went to the 11th Century Moorish (Muslim) palace.  That same day the group also ventured up to the caves of the Gypsies, where traditional local music has been performed for centuries.   The glossy magazine Hola! (think People magazine obsessed with the royal families of Europe) covered Mrs. Obama’s trip, including the visit to the Gypsies, one of the most continuously reviled, marginalized minority groups on the continent, and certainly not among the glamorized set.  Photos show her clapping and enjoying the flamenco folklore, and might be one of the first instances of the culture shown in a positive light among the magazine’s glitterati.  The constant, enthusiastic news reports about the Obama visit in Spanish media carried a strong message between the lines:  these Americans come in all colors, interests, and backgrounds.  They can show us how to value our own minorities and marginalized.  This is what makes them so awesome.  We are their friends.  We want to be like them.  They respect us and value our cultural contributions, as we value theirs.

Mrs. Obama with gypsies of Granada, Spain

I wish Mrs. Obama’s trip would have cost zero taxpayer dollars, but the reality is that anywhere the First Lady travels she’ll need Secret Service and a private plane.  They can’t stay at a youth hostel, or squeeze their towels like sardines on the packed Mediterranean beach.  As I read some of the Twitterati’s criticism, beyond the cost, it seemed that the very act of taking her daughter off American soil and (gasp!) enjoying this experience denoted a cardinal sin.  Giving her daughter the gift of foreign travel is a priceless privilege, made particularly sweet by the joy and wonder that comes with Sasha’s young age.  Travelling outside our borders can become a goal for any family or child, as a uniquely enriching, attainable, affordable experience (particularly through scholarships for youth, like those offered by Rotary International and NSLI-Y, or exchanges like AFS; click here for more ideas on raising children with a global perspective even without travel).

If any American travelling abroad instantly serves as an informal cultural ambassador, the First Family’s visit certainly had an impact beyond fun.  In April 2004 Spain withdrew troops from the Coalition of the Willing fighting in Iraq, amidst an overwhelming wave of anti-American, anti-war feeling.  The presence of Mrs. Obama and the pride for the USA evoked by her image and visit among the Spanish and Europe in general is helping steer sentiment back in a positive direction toward America.  The price to pay for stronger alliances, customers for American products, and good-will is certainly worth a few nights in a five-star hotel or missing her husband’s birthday dinner one year.

Chicago Sun-Times Feature: Feeding kids’ interest in global cuisine

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

Chicago Sun-Times

Feeding kids’ interest in global cuisine

Never too early to foster appreciation for other cultures’ foods, say chefs

March 17, 2010

BY MAUREEN JENKINS

Wave chef Kristine Subido’s 5-year-old son Kamlin — who’s already traveled to his mom’s native Philippines twice — has a well-developed global palate.

He’ll happily eat a whole fish, including the cheeks. He adores Japanese cucumber salad, the bitter goodness of Chinese broccoli, Swiss chard and sauteed turnip greens — “and he’ll tell me if it’s bland,” says Subido, who is known for her liberal use of global spices at the W Chicago-Lakeshore restaurant. “He makes sure I do the red chili flakes, garlic and the olive oil.”

Two-year-old Talia Foss cracks an egg like a pro to the delight of her parents, Keni and Phillip Foss, while little sis Noa keeps busy with parsley. Phillip Foss, the chef at Lockwood, and his wife encourage kitchen play to expand their daughters’ palates.

(Al Podgorski/Sun-Times)

PHOTO GALLERY

Nurturing a global palate

And this young foodie always peppers his chef mom about the ingredients used when they cook together in their Chicago kitchen. So much so that he tells Subido, “I want to be a cooker when I grow up.”

Like mother, like son.

“In his school, they’re very diverse, so that helps,” says Subido, whose family came to the United States when she was 8. “In his classroom, you see every color, which is great because he’s biracial.” When it comes to food, “he’s one of the more adventurous of his friends.”

Cuisine offers a delicious way for kids to connect to other cultures. But raising youngsters with global palates don’t happen by accident. It’s all about exposure — and best of all, you don’t need to board an airplane to get it.

We Chicago area dwellers are fortunate, as we’ve got a veritable smorgasbord to choose from when it comes to restaurants, ethnic grocery stores and markets that can serve as the setting for tasty cultural lessons.

“It’s been such a timeless tradition over history, bringing people to your table,” says Homa Sabet Tavangar, author of Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be At Home in the World (Ballantine Books, $16).

This international business consultant and mother of three daughters gives parents tools to help their kids develop a global perspective, whether learning how to say hello in different languages or throwing an internationally themed birthday party. She serves up the topic of eating in a chapter called “Break Bread.”

“So much diplomacy and friendship and getting to know people and ‘meeting the parents’ [is done] over dinner or a meal. It really has been such a powerful tool,” says Tavangar, the daughter of Persian parents who is fluent in four languages.

Tavangar, who has lived in the Middle East, Africa, South America and throughout the United States, recently spoke at an Executives’ Club of Chicago women’s leadership breakfast.

“One of our first natural instincts is to nourish ourselves,” says Lockwood chef Phillip Foss, the dad of already adventurous toddler eaters. “When you begin at an early age, you’re halfway there already.”

Foss — who’s lived and worked in Hawaii, Bermuda, France and Israel — and his wife try to get nearly 3-year-old Talia “involved as much as possible in day-to-day [food] preparation. My wife’s got a great touch with doughs and breads. You get [kids’] hands into it, show ’em it’s fun, and it comes out of their personalities.”

Already, Talia loves Jerusalem couscous, which her Israeli mom makes from scratch.

“The best you can do is expose [kids] as much as possible,” says Foss, whose children’s menu at the restaurant in the Palmer House Hilton features roasted salmon nuggets and “market greens” as well as the more predictable grilled cheese sandwich and mini-hot dog.

“Take them to markets in the summer, to farms,” he says. “The most amazing thing about kids is their capacity and desire to learn. They’re all about fun and colors.”

Although Foss’ wife — who does most of the family’s cooking — keeps a kosher kitchen, “We do some Asian food, certainly French and Italian. My wife brings in Tunisian [where her parents are from], a lot of Middle Eastern influences, Indian. We try to keep it diverse.”

And when you’re on the road, suggests Subido, keep feeding kids’ interest in global cuisine.

“Go to the markets first instead of the restaurants,” says Subido, who makes her own baby food for 6-month-old Shamariyah. “Look at all the different fruits and vegetables. Really ask [the kids] a lot of questions.”

Before visiting the Philippines, she and Kamlin “talked about what kinds of foods came from there,” she says. “What he really wanted to do was drink from a coconut with a straw.”

But what if culinary diversity isn’t so close at hand? Now living in a fairly homogenous Philadelphia suburb, Tavangar makes it a priority to visit West African eateries in the city (she took her kids to live in Gambia for part of 2007 to expose them to life abroad).

“It’s one reason I was interested in this book,” she says. “I wanted my children to experience the world. By not being part of the diversity of the world, it was like we were being deprived of one of our senses.”

Grownups can help young people hone these senses by showing their own willingness to sample global tastes.

With kids, “the younger you start, the better,” Tavangar says. “It’s like developing a muscle. The Food Network and Travel Channel certainly have made it fun” to experiment with different cuisines.

And since food brings folks together, why not invite friends to share dishes from your background? Tavangar’s pals have started making her Persian stews and other dishes at their own homes after first sampling them at her house.

“It’s great if you don’t just do it on a special occasion, but you even have it on a Thursday night,” she says. “You have to plan a little bit ahead, but that’s something the family can look forward to sitting down to together.

“You’re having a ‘staycation’—you’re not going anywhere, but you still want to have an international experience with your family. That’s just a really nice thing to share.”

Maureen Jenkins is a Chicago free-lance writer who blogs at UrbanTravelGirl.com.

Parents: Go ethnic when eating out or on road

More tips from author Homa Sabet Tavangar (growingupglobal.net) on helping kids develop a “global palate”:

It’s a small world, after all. Help kids see the similarities in foods eaten around the world. We all eat bread, but it can take the form of tortillas, naan, pita or challah. Likewise, noodles can be Italian capellini, Greek orzo or Asian rice noodles. Sample these at home or at restaurants.

Cook up some fun. Kids are more willing to taste something they made — or helped make — themselves. Help them prepare international dishes as part of a tasty at-home lesson, and invite their friends to join in.

Travel the world by dining out. You don’t need a passport to dine at a Ethiopian, Korean or Persian restaurant in the Chicago area. Ethnic eateries tend to be affordable and casual. Consider visiting one whose people are currently in the news. Learn a few words of the country’s language from the waiter. Even better: Tie a restaurant visit to a cultural event such as a foreign movie, museum exhibit or concert.

On the road, make even fast food “global.” Traveling to Hawaii or a foreign country? If your kids love McDonald’s, drop in to see how local specialties find their way onto the menu. (“Burgers” are made of lamb, chicken or veggies in India; shrimp nuggets are served in Japan.) Or sample the country’s own “fast food,” which may be falafels and shawarmas in the Middle East, or tacos and other hand-held specialties sold by street cart vendors in Mexico.

Spice up your holidays. Add a global twist to Thanksgiving or other holiday menus by incorporating dishes from your family’s own cultural heritage — or someone else’s. Use different spices and herbs. Go Indian with slow-cooked curried turkey, and put a Mexican spin on leftovers the next day with turkey enchiladas.

Maureen Jenkins

A Tribute We Didn’t Choose for Black History Month

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

kinder2

It’s Black History Month and I recently was inspired by the posting on Lori Tharps’ My American Meltingpot blog offering concrete activities to celebrate the month.  But I didn’t think I’d have such a different experience to add to her list – attending the funeral of an African American friend.  On Friday, the calm day before the “snowtastrophe” that dumped two feet of snow, hubby and I spent the day at The Celebration of the Life of Franklin Delano Kinder, one of our first friends in Philly.  My eyes stung through the weekend from the range of emotion – laughing and crying – of that day.  Pausing from our routine to focus on the life of one dear friend allowed us to honor him and what he lived for, and it also felt like a re-centering and a cleansing of our own hearts.  The fact that we will miss him so painfully much only reflects how much he loved and was loved, and to remember how important it is to take time to nurture the friendships that sustain us.

Toward the end of the stream of remembrances, all with the common theme of how Frank infused love in all he did, Ethel Henderson, auntie to seemingly hundreds (including me), told the packed rows of mourners to turn around and look at the people seated in the hall and the overflow room.  “What do you notice?  You are like the flowers in a garden.  Look how varied you are.  Look at what you reflect.  This is what Frank lived for.  To bring people together.  To understand and love one another.”

From Acel Moore’s tribute to Frank:

“When Ummuna Gebre of Eritrea telephoned the Baha’i center in Washington, DC to ask questions, Frank answered – and later said he knew from that first conversation that he and Ummuna would marry.”  It’s been 37 years since they married.  Frank attended Cheyney University while their two daughters, Azeb and Almaz, were babies, and graduated with an A-average and as President of his class.  To his surprise, he then was accepted to the Graduate School of Education at Harvard University.  After earning a graduate degree, he dedicated himself to a life of service, working with Head Start programs, as an elementary and middle school teacher, and then developing after-school and educational programs for new housing projects in Philadelphia.  He served for 30 years as a member of the Local Spiritual Assembly of the Baha’is of Philadelphia.  As Mr. Moore’s eulogy described, he was sustained by the belief “that humanity is one single race and that the day has come for people to unite in peace as a single, global civilization.”  And:  “He died as he had lived:  surrounded by prayers, laughter, song, friends and family…”

When we joined the family for the “repast” we were delighted by a range of tastes and experiences.  Just inside the door, two women wearing the traditional white gauze dress and headscarf of Eritrea were stooped over, pouring sweet, dark coffee they brewed over a single flame burner and poured precisely in the dainty cups, evoking an exotic oasis. In the next room were Ethiopian spicy stews and flat injera breads rolled neatly; American fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, and cooked greens; Italian penne and meatballs and more – all prepared by friends and family who pitched in to serve multitudes.  While filling up on the meal, it felt good to hear the humming of conversation, a young friend’s gentle strumming on a bass in the background, connect with old and new friends, and play peek-a-boo or hold the toddlers who cheered up the room.  I loved that the pure and joyous spirit of several young children was allowed to be part of dear Frank’s “home-going,” reminding me of how natural this cycle is, even though it’s never easy.

It’s hard to imagine our extended community without Frank’s bellowing singing, deep laughter, or ready hugs.  I hope his family felt comfort as I believe his friends did, in the coming together of so many diverse “flowers in the garden” from so many parts of his life.  The fact this took place during Black History Month also reminded me that so many ordinary people are committed to racial harmony, conveying this simply through the actions of their daily lives.  We can honor the history by forming friendships that cross barriers in the present.  These small steps might not make it in the history books, but embody what heroes like Dr. King and even Mr. Kinder lived for.