It’s that time of year when important holidays from major world faiths converge, we’re about to mark another anniversary of 9/11, and those getting the most attention seem to be the extremists on the margin.  Most parents want our children to be much better than that – to live with respect, harmony, peace and the beauty offered by diversity.  It’s better for them.  It’s better for our world.

Learning about the world’s religions through the baggage-free lens of our children and from diverse people in our home communities offers a natural way to explore gently the positive aspects of world religions.  To raise children who truly feel at home in the world calls for literacy in the world’s spiritual teachings.  Gaining such literacy might start as an intellectual exercise about tolerance, but ultimately can be motivated by something more basic and profound – appreciation and love. Here are a few ideas for turning the convergence on the calendar and the debate in the media into a positive learning experience for the entire family.

• Use metaphors or analogies from familiar concepts to simplify the understanding of why there are so many religions and how anyone can make sense of them.   For example, you can think of various religious traditions like the fingers of one hand:  each one is distinct but they trace their source to the same palm.  The idea of various lamps with different lampshades can demonstrate that the surface may differ, but at the core (the light) they share a common, vital purpose.  Many metaphors from nature and common objects can teach how to see unity in diversity.
• Start with the common building blocks.  The core of each holy book advocates concepts like love for family and community; universal virtues and becoming an ethical, “good” person; connection with the non-material side of life; searching for answers to mystical questions, like the source of our creation, and much more.  When we realize we share concerns about so many basic questions, we can start to build respect and understanding.
• Learn from the stories and the arts.  Like the knowledge of Bible stories, each faith tradition carries valuable stories and lessons that shed light on deeper truths.  These can serve as a gentle and valuable way to learn about the world view and values of other faiths.  Similarly, many great artistic expressions owe their flourishing to the inspiration born of various faiths.  Appreciating some of the diverse art forms, from mosaics and manuscripts to mandalas, murals and tapestries can serve as a rich, non-threatening learning adventure.
• Make friends.  Last, but not least, and most simply, friendships among people from diverse faiths can serve as the richest, most authentic learning experience.  The times my children and I have experienced a Seder, Iftar, or devotional gathering at the homes of our friends were those when we learned the most.  Instead of branding a group with the extremists’ face from the media, we can associate the teachings with our friend – human, kind, real.

Don’t be afraid to ask a friend if you could experience a celebration or service with them, or even ask questions about a particular point you’ve read about. These form vital steps toward peace-making, and that’s pretty likely to be at the core of your own faith, too.

For more tips on teaching children about other faiths, see Growing Up Global, Chapter 6 “What Do They Believe?”

If you’re getting tired of standard face painting at the next school fair you might want to try something along these lines, or let this inspire an upcoming art project, whether it’s re-purposing familiar objects (like hands or even chairs or pencils), telling a story through hand shadow puppetry,  depicting a favorite culture you might paint on your own hands (or feet or tummies or faces), or demonstrating the power of art to inspire, unite, and captivate.  You also could discuss the power of communication tools to connect cultures, or think of other objects which could replace the phone, from cultural icons like foods and handicrafts to other technologies, as well as painting other symbols that might be instantly associated with various cultures.  At the very least, enjoy – together.

Bahamas

Canada

China

Egypt

India

France

Tropical World

The 47% takes all states into account, from Maine, with a 98% graduation rate, to New York, with just 25% of black males graduating high school.  New York, with so much power and privilege, alarmingly comes out with the highest rank on the Education Inequity Index in The Schott 50 State Report on Public Education and Black Males.  But its much maligned neighbor, Newark, NJ (and NJ in general) gets much higher marks and stands out as models of educational justice in the Schott Foundation’s recent report, posted here.

I am grateful for the information analyzed and offered to the public from this important work.  I am not the mother of black boys.  I don’t have to be.  As long as such stark inequalities characterize our country’s education systems, and our zip codes determine whether our boys are more likely to graduate high school or go to jail, I’m profoundly affected.  We are paying the price in millions of lives essentially lost, while we continue to see ourselves as the greatest country in the world.  This profound disconnect is unsustainable, unpalatable, unjust – and these adjectives seem totally inadequate to describe the feeling.   They only begin to touch on America’s challenges competing in the global economy with so much lost human potential.

The Schott Foundation report shows that “systemic disparities evident by race, social class, or zip code are influenced more by the social policies and practices that WE put in place to distribute educational opportunities and resources and less by the abilities of Black males.”  The numbers show it’s not because the boys can’t or don’t want to succeed.  We need to pay attention.  What’s going on at the classroom level?  At the school board meeting?  Who’s slipping between the cracks?  How do staffing, training, resource allocation decisions disproportionately affect a particular group of people?

The report identifies some of the steps that can be taken to remedy the situation, all within reach, like: Ensuring access to high quality early education, access to highly effective teachers, college preparatory curricula and equitable instructional resources. Ensuring safe and educationally sound living and learning communities through community wraparound supports and multi-sector partnerships like the National CARES Mentoring program. By working together, we can build the movement needed to guarantee every child, regardless of race and gender, a fair and substantive opportunity to learn and fully participate in our democratic society.  So, we need deliberate, intense focus; we’ll have to start early and stay late (e.g., before Kindergarten and have strong after-school and weekend programs, like the model that’s working at the Harlem Children’s Zone).

One criticism has come from Why Boys Fail author Richard Whitmire, on the Education Week blog, as nowhere in the report are girls mentioned; all the comparisons are to white males.  Twice as many African-American females graduate from college as African-American men, so the omission is relevant.  Black women’s educational attainment has been analyzed extensively elsewhere, so perhaps to adequately focus on this issue, the authors chose to isolate and confront male achievement exclusively.  The lack of analysis of girls’ achievement doesn’t take away from the power of the report’s findings.

The “black boys report” underscores the great potential we are throwing away, at the cost of millions of lives.  I’m reminded of a quotation from Baha’u’llah:  “Regard man as a mine rich in gems of inestimable value.  Education can, alone, cause it to reveal its treasures, and enable mankind to benefit therefrom.” Underlying this vision is a conviction that each human being was “created noble,” with talents to be mined out for the benefit of all humanity.  The purpose of education is less about filling an empty vessel with knowledge, and more about bringing out inherent gifts.  If we could enact policy, allocate budgets, and create curricula with this nobility of all in mind, individuals of any background could thrive and contribute with dignity, thus making our country – and our world – a better, stronger, happier place.  These are the qualities that help make countries’ statistics look brilliant.

As many are aware, Spain, known for gorgeous landscapes, beaches and soccer players, seductive flamenco, fine art and architecture is also marked by a millennium of outright racism, ethnic cleansing, and stark brutality, well into the 20^th Century.  With democracy opening in the country since 1975, it is now celebrated as a vibrant center of art and soul and beauty and relaxation – but nowhere is perfect.  Friends of ours who have resettled into Spain bemoaned the surprising levels of bias voiced openly against anyone not Catholic and fair-skinned.  While historically rich and gorgeous cities like Toledo, Seville and Granada flourished thanks to the peaceful coexistence of Jews, Muslims and Catholics for as much as seven hundred years, long Holy Wars, the Inquisition, Civil War, and dictatorship have left bitter remainders of prejudice in too many hearts and minds and institutions.

So, I found the on-the-ground response to Mrs. Obama’s visit to Southern Spain quite remarkable.  As we drove through the nearby countryside, radio stations eagerly reported everything from tips on how crowds could fight the heat while waiting hours to catch a glimpse of the First Lady’s visit at a nearby Cathedral, to Sasha’s favorite ice cream flavor ordered earlier that day at a popular shop.  It was as if the dignity of this strong, stylish, smart, black American woman, mother, professional and leader captured the highest ideals of their nation and might even help them atone for their past sins and present economic woes.

Deliberate or not, Mrs. Obama’s itinerary (which I gathered from the local radio reports) seemed to mock anyone clinging to old prejudices:  In one city she visited the main Cathedral first, then went to the 11^th Century Moorish (Muslim) palace.  That same day the group also ventured up to the caves of the Gypsies, where traditional local music has been performed for centuries.   The glossy magazine Hola! (think People magazine obsessed with the royal families of Europe) covered Mrs. Obama’s trip, including the visit to the Gypsies, one of the most continuously reviled, marginalized minority groups on the continent, and certainly not among the glamorized set.  Photos show her clapping and enjoying the flamenco folklore, and might be one of the first instances of the culture shown in a positive light among the magazine’s glitterati.  The constant, enthusiastic news reports about the Obama visit in Spanish media carried a strong message between the lines:  these Americans come in all colors, interests, and backgrounds.  They can show us how to value our own minorities and marginalized.  This is what makes them so awesome.  We are their friends.  We want to be like them.  They respect us and value our cultural contributions, as we value theirs.

I wish Mrs. Obama’s trip would have cost zero taxpayer dollars, but the reality is that anywhere the First Lady travels she’ll need Secret Service and a private plane.  They can’t stay at a youth hostel, or squeeze their towels like sardines on the packed Mediterranean beach.  As I read some of the Twitterati’s criticism, beyond the cost, it seemed that the very act of taking her daughter off American soil and (gasp!) enjoying this experience denoted a cardinal sin.  Giving her daughter the gift of foreign travel is a priceless privilege, made particularly sweet by the joy and wonder that comes with Sasha’s young age.  Travelling outside our borders can become a goal for any family or child, as a uniquely enriching, attainable, affordable experience (particularly through scholarships for youth, like those offered by Rotary International and NSLI-Y, or exchanges like AFS; click here for more ideas on raising children with a global perspective even without travel).

If any American travelling abroad instantly serves as an informal cultural ambassador, the First Family’s visit certainly had an impact beyond fun.  In April 2004 Spain withdrew troops from the Coalition of the Willing fighting in Iraq, amidst an overwhelming wave of anti-American, anti-war feeling.  The presence of Mrs. Obama and the pride for the USA evoked by her image and visit among the Spanish and Europe in general is helping steer sentiment back in a positive direction toward America.  The price to pay for stronger alliances, customers for American products, and good-will is certainly worth a few nights in a five-star hotel or missing her husband’s birthday dinner one year.

Initially – especially the parents of boys – thought their kids wouldn’t respond to the soft rhythm of the gorgeous film, but it managed to keep the attention of the boys and girls, women and men.  The centerpiece of the film is a father-son relationship amidst the idyllic life of subsistence fishermen in the Mexican Caribbean – selling or eating what they catch, sleeping in hammocks in cottages on stilts in the water, learning to swim, dive, and navigate the sometimes treacherous sea, for an ultimate “Free-range kid” experience.  Their quality time together will be cut short imminently when five year-old Natan returns to live the urban life with his mother.  In an opening scene that feels like raw documentary footage the parents describe their doomed love.  She is a city girl and he is a man of the wild, who doesn’t want to be constrained by a concrete jungle.  A life together raising their love child calls for one of them to compromise all they know, so the marriage is unsustainable, but the joy it produced is real, in Natan, the beautiful, perfect mix of his mother and father (these are not actors playing the roles, and even their real names are kept for the film).

Parents might be concerned by a brief vignette of the young couple on the beach near the film’s start.  No worries – they’re just in European-style bathing suits and that’s the most risqué it gets.  Later in the film posters of pin-up girls in tight bikinis are shown adorning walls of bachelor fishermen shacks, but that’s as far as it goes.

The tenderness of the father-son relationship more than makes up for any concerns about appropriate content.   When you watch, pay attention to the first impression you might have of Natan’s father Jorge and then notice how this changes by the end of the film.  Looks deceive.  Jorge is no Tarzan.  He knows the Latin classification of native plants and viewers will appreciate the care with which he converses, teaches, protects and disciplines his young son.  In the end, many might be pining for that relationship with their own father and forget the initial impression they had of the Mexican man who eschews the urbane life.  Like Jorge’s own life, the movie’s themes remind us that much of nature is not for us to tame or own.  The egret affectionately named Blanquita by Natan, might come close and linger, but in spite of best efforts, she can’t be domesticated and kept.  This mediation on “detachment,” a theme so rare in our consumer culture, can spur rich discussion across generations – and is one of the many gifts of Alamar.

Faithful to its title, the sea itself plays a major role in Alamar.  We are surrounded, immersed, awed, fed, and threatened by it throughout the film – again, we can’t own it or tame it.  It’s hard not to be reminded of the mess we’re making of our oceans when we see how generous and gorgeous it is to those who treat it well, co-existing harmoniously with it.  Without a drop of lecturing, this is serves as a powerful treatise on environmental stewardship.

We’ve enjoyed some delightful family films this summer, like Toy Story 3, and now add Alamar to that strong list.  As one of our friends commented a few days after our movie night, “the more time went by, the more I liked it, and couldn’t stop thinking about it.”  And when I asked my 7 year-old which of those two films would she prefer to see again, she couldn’t decide – both were so good.

——————

By Homa S. Tavangar, author, Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be At Home in the World (Random House/Ballantine, 2009).   Growing Up Global contains a full chapter on additional foreign films to watch with your family, and was named a “Best New Parenting Book” by Scholastic Parent + Child.

With the August recess, upcoming elections, and a packed legislative agenda, it’s crucial that we press Congress to vote on I-VAWA before year-end, so that protection of vulnerable women and girls not fall by the wayside.

Support from members of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee—including Senator Jim Webb (D-VA), Senator Richard Lugar (R-IN), Senator Johnny Isakson (R-GA), and Senator Bob Corker (R-TN)—is key for I-VAWA to move forward. By reaching out to these Senators, particularly if you are a constituent, you can make a game-changing difference.

In less than 3 minutes, you can a) call-in; b) send a Facebook appeal; c) build the movement by telling your friends; d) transform the lives of women and girls facing horrific violence worldwide. Please see below for instructions and sample scripts.

Phone Numbers for Key Senators:

Senator Webb (D-VA): (202) 224-4024
Senator Lugar (R-IN): (202) 224-4814
Senator Isakson (R-GA): (202) 224-3643
Senator Corker (R-TN): (202) 224-3344

When you call: ask to speak with the staffer who handles women’s issues or foreign affairs. If you are a constituent, remember to mention that (and give your address).

SAMPLE SCRIPT:

“I’m calling to urge Senator _____ to support the International Violence Against Women Act.”

“I support this bill because:

• Violence against women and girls is a human rights violation occurring globally;
• At least one in every three women worldwide has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime; and
• The International Violence Against Women Act supports measures to prevent violence, protect survivors and bring perpetrators to justice.”

Feel free to add additional reasons you care about ending violence against women. Also, if you can’t call Monday—still call! Anytime next week will still be within the critical window of opportunity we have to move the Senate to action on I-VAWA.
POSTING MESSAGES ON FACEBOOK: ALL WEEK (July 26-30)

Facebook page links for key Senators:

Senator Webb: http://www.facebook.com/jimwebb
Senator Lugar: http://www.facebook.com/senatorlugar
Senator Corker: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bob-Corker/20966472424

SAMPLE MESSAGE:

One out of every three women worldwide will be physically, sexually, or otherwise abused during her lifetime.  We can take a stand right now to help end violence against women globally. Support and vote for the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA) this month!

Please share this action alert with your friends so they can help impact the lives of millions of women and girls at risk of violence.

The euphoria of the final World Cup match is over and so many people around the world don’t know what to do with themselves.  Summer 2010 has been marked by one nation after another facing off in the stunning World Cup, with the entire world (especially the Americans, more than ever before in the game’s history) tuning in, and the continent of Africa proudly and ably starring as host.  I’ve been fascinated to stumble on so many learning opportunities afforded by  South Africa’s role and the fact that soccer, known as the beautiful game, is also the world’s game, inciting the passions of people of every culture, income level and belief system.

So many organizations rallied to bring hope to South Africa’s poor and youth while the world’s spotlight was there.  Among these include Unicef, as well as Streetchildworldcup.org, Grassrootsoccer.org, and Play31. Al Jazeera media’s show Witness just came out with a terrific 22 minute piece that showcases one of these projects; the segment is called Kick It Up South Africa, linked here.  Global Girl Media, a U.S. non-profit organization, trains girls from underserved communities as new media citizen journalists to speak out about the issues that affect them most.  For the 2010 World Cup they worked with a group of teens from Soweto, the poor township of Johannesburg which played a key role in the struggle to end apartheid.

Witness – Kick It Up South Africa

Watch the video (click on the link right before this paragraph) with your children ages ten and older.  It affords so many learning opportunities (beyond that of seeing one of many positive, instructive pieces on Al Jazeera, which many Americans might still equate – erroneously – as “terrorists’ media”).  Start with “easy” stuff, like trying to pronounce (and appreciate) the names of the South Africans in the video; notice the neighborhoods, their clothing – what is different, what is similar?  Can you imagine yourself in the marching band or as a fan on the way to the game, going to South Africa?  Then go deeper:  why would successful American journalists take time out of their lives to work with young girls from a poor South African township?  Why is it important to single out girls to work with?  What can we learn from the example both of the trainers as well as the girls experiencing the media training?  What do you think it means to be a “global girl (or boy)”?  As an adult (or youth volunteer), what could you do to empower young people in your local community?  What are the needs you could help address to give hope, purpose and encouragement?  Beyond your immediate environs, how could you apply your skills and interests to making a difference in the global community?

One of the girls in the group, Tebogo, has lived the nightmare of AIDS, intimately in her family.  Her personal reflection is moving and difficult, but also instructive.  We can learn of the reality of AIDS’ impact and the real pain that comes with it.  Additionally, the process of learning to reflect at many levels is valuable:  to reflect on one’s life circumstances, as well as on opportunities and experiences that come along, can serve as a great learning and growing experience.  The arts, like poetry and creative writing, filmmaking, drawing, painting, sculpting, drama, music and dance can give moving expression to your personal expression, and sport can serve as a venue for uniting, celebrating and learning.

At the end of the essay introducing the video, producer and founder of Global Girls media, Amie Williams, concludes with a moving, reflective statement:
“They are the Global Girls of Soweto, and this is one World Cup that I can personally say has not only changed the face of football, but also uprooted the goal posts.”

By sharing a discussion around this video with your own tweens and teens and adult friends, it might even uproot your own goal posts this summer – and I’d love to hear of any directions your discussion and possible action ideas might have taken.  Comment here, or on Growing Up Global’s Facebook community.

THE GAMES THAT UNITE US

When my family was living in West Africa, we became accustomed to seeing almost anything that had been thoroughly exhausted as a source of food or fuel get kicked toward a goal. Bottle caps, tin cans that could no longer be reused as containers, rotted cashew shells, abundant unripe mangoes—all got kicked around on the dusty streets and trails during the dry season to mimic a soccer game. An organized soccer game (called “football” everywhere except the United States) between rival neighborhoods at the sandy open field of the local elementary school on a Friday afternoon (after the noonday prayer, marking the start of the weekend) would draw hundreds of people of varying ages to cheer on their teams. Many of the excellent players had no shoes to wear, let alone fancy shin guards or matching jerseys. My girls saw that determination was all it took to get the game going.

As we drove through different neighborhoods of Banjul and its environs, we would watch for chalkboards displayed by enterprising TV owners who wrote the schedule of upcoming professional football games on the boards they’d prop against their mud and tin homes or storefronts so that anyone could pay a small fee to come watch Manchester United play Barcelona or Nigeria versus Zambia on their eighteen-inch, Taiwanese TV screen. These cottage industries form a vital connection between people who are too poor to own a TV or have electricity in their homes, and the international sports superstars, advertising sponsors, and the passion that revolves around the sport worldwide. As a result, children who are considered the “poorest of the poor” have heroes from Brazil or France or Nigeria who they aspire to be like, and thanks to thriving used-clothing markets, they proudly wear the team jerseys of their favorite athletes.

We witnessed how the same game that parents in our U.S. home community rush their kids around for on Saturdays is passionately played where people can’t imagine owning a car. It’s the game we have in common. There is much more that we share, but the game serves as a starting point. When we wanted to buy a departing gift for the kids we got to know at our Gambian Sunday School class, the only thing they asked for was a decent soccer ball—they had just one that had to be shared by about fifty kids.

TEN WAYS SOCCER CAN HELP YOU GROW UP GLOBAL

A quick search on amazon.com reveals there is a whole genre dedicated to exploring how soccer explains the world, or “soccer sociology.” In many ways, soccer acts like the universal language. Tuning in with your children to the worldwide devotion to soccer provides an excellent springboard for learning about other cultures and worldviews. Use soccer to grow up global.

Here are a few ways to begin:

1. Tap in to the global game through FIFA (pronounced “FEE-fa”), the International Football Association, which sponsors the World Cup games (see www.fifa.com). FIFA is the world’s largest sports association. Navigate this website for a great window to the world. In addition to seeing game highlights and scores, kids can learn about developments in the sport, about what fans in the various countries are concerned about, about how soccer teams and players are giving back in their respective countries, and even learn about the countries themselves. In 2007, the year we were in The Gambia, there was no professional World Cup contest (it’s held once every four years), but the Under-20s age group (U-20s) had their own World Cup and the Gambian U-20 team (almost miraculously) made it to the final sixteen round. The whole nation rallied around fundraising to get the boys to the matches in Toronto. Once we were back in the states, my family followed the team’s performance on the FIFA site and watched their bittersweet return home.
2. Start to follow a few international teams. Pick favorites. You can start narrowing down which teams to pick based on your favorite countries (choose these based on your heritage, your friend’s, your favorite type of food, the language you want to learn to speak, your favorite jersey, or hundreds of other reasons—get creative!). The FIFA site includes an interactive world map. Hitting the Teams tab brings up a map of the world with country abbreviations and flags for all those teams playing. Click on the flag and learn about the team.
3. Learn about the lives of your favorite players. “Football” players abroad are the biggest celebrities in many countries. Some of the top players came up through hard circumstances, possibly playing the game in the streets of their tough neighborhoods. For school biography projects, or just for general interest, kids can choose an international player to learn about.
4. Cheer for the U.S.A. There’s no reason you can’t be a patriot and still grow up global. Track the travels of the U.S. team. Look for links with the local immigrant population (e.g., Polish and Eastern European influence on the Chicago pro team, or Central Americans on DC United). Where are your favorite U.S. players and coaches from? Join the fans at a pro soccer game near you.
5. How are the women and girls doing? Which countries have professional women players? Does the foreign country you chose to follow have a women’s team?  Are their teams supported by the public at large? What might be some of the obstacles faced by the girls in other countries as they get serious about sports?  Did you know the world’s number one team of women has long come from the United States but our men’s team struggles to make qualifying rounds? Why might this be? Proudly wear a jersey of a women’s team. Tickets to the games usually cost less than the men’s, so invite a small group to join you in cheering on a women’s team, or celebrate a birthday with friends by going to a women’s game.
6. Get to know players or their parents with a different worldview. In communities all across America, the children of immigrants are more likely to join a soccer team than any other sport. And those parents might make the best coaches— some have known and loved the sport with a level of intensity that simply didn’t exist when we were growing up in the United States. For lots of kids, playing on a team is largely a social experience, so it can open a door to meeting families from different cultures. Among parents, conversations start spontaneously in between cheering on the sidelines. I recall learning tips for staying warm at my daughter’s games one blustery November from Canadian parents.  The following week a family from India brewed a spicy chai tea and transported it in a large carafe to share with us, providing a much-needed change of pace early on a Saturday morning. The act of serving us hot paper cups of tea at the game created a simple but lasting connection—a memorable “icebreaker.”
7. Adults can play, too. If you’re an adult and want to play, find one of the numerous leagues in towns across America. These are largely made up of international residents, who grew up with “football,” and a few enthusiastic Americans. When my cousin Ramin, who grew up in Iran and Australia, started working on Wall Street, he found a league nearby in Chinatown, organized by a Chinese restaurant owner. Now he plays on a northern New Jersey men’s league at least twice a week with friends from Nigeria, South Africa, Brazil, Central America, Turkey, and more. His teammates might be cab drivers, doctors, or CEOs, but those distinctions fade away on the turf. Over the years, these are among his best “American” friends.
8. If you get to travel abroad, try to attend a local football/soccer game. There are few events that will demonstrate local culture and passions more than a football match. You don’t have to attend a professional game; a youth league will provide plenty of entertainment. If you don’t know where to begin to find a game, ask someone at your hotel—they might even invite you to join their family at a game.
9. Watch a soccer movie. Bend It Like Beckham has become the classic soccer movie. It provides both a lens into a girl’s struggle as well as a look at life in an Indian household in England, with the clash of cultures taking place between generations of an immigrant family. The American film Gracie follows the classic sports movie formula, of overcoming a tragedy and the odds, but delivers a good soccer flick and family drama. Like Bend It, this also got a PG-13 rating; unfortunately, it’s not suitable for kids just starting soccer in elementary school.  The predicament of women in Iran who must dress like men to get into the World Cup qualifying match is portrayed in Offside. Ages thirteen and up can see how the absurdities of barring women from watching sports matches are circumvented by young fans. The Cup, from Burma, follows younger Tibetan monks who try to watch the World Cup final from their monastery in exile. The devotion to the sport of fans from actual, remote tribal villages in Mongolia, Niger, and Brazil plays out in their quest to get TV reception for the 2002 World Cup final in The Great Match, made by a crew from Spain. Soccer documentaries The Boys from Brazil and The History of Soccer (a seven-DVD set) also show the passion of the game outside the United States.
10. Help all kids access soccer and sports. Organizations like the U.S. Soccer Foundation, BallforAll, Velletri Soccer Group, Grassroot Soccer, UNICEF, in partnership with FIFA at unicef.org/football, and many more can connect your family with global soccer programs that positively impact struggling local communities. These charities work through organized sports to help advance kids’ academics, their community’s development, and keep them healthy and out of trouble. America SCORES, the U.S. Soccer Foundation, and organizations within various metropolitan areas (like DC United and Dallas Scores) all support opportunities for disadvantaged kids in the United States to pursue the sport as a door to other opportunities.

For more ideas – read the book!  And please share your experiences, here and on my Facebook page!

Boys playing football in the UNICEF-funded safe park in South Africa. Credit: UNICEF UK/South Africa 2008/Andy Brown

Soccer is the world’s game and can connect us with a world community.  For one month every four years it culminates in the World Cup, this June 11-July 11.  This list is abridged from the longer list located in the Play! Chapter of Growing Up Global.

1. Do the WAKA WAKA and tap in to the global game through FIFA (pronounced “FEE-fa”). World Cup sponsor www.fifa.com gives game highlights and schedules, but it’s also a portal to the excitement of the game in each country.  Hit the Teams tab, click on country flags and explore!  Dance to Shakira’s World Cup song, WAKA WAKA, found here – in 3D!

2. Follow a few international teams. Pick favorites – based on your heritage, favorite food, a language you want to learn, your favorite jersey, or even where your finger stops when you spin the globe. Make a flag of your country to wave during the games.  Go farther:  Growing Up Global has recommendations for age-appropriate foreign films, food ideas, music and more.

3. Learn about your favorite players’ lives. “Footballers” are many countries’ biggest celebrities and their life stories can inspire.

4. Cheer for the U.S.A.. There’s no reason you can’t be a patriot and still grow up global. Track the U.S. team. Where are your favorite U.S. players and coaches from?

5. How are women and girls doing? Does the country you follow have a women’s team? What obstacles might girls in other countries face as they get serious about sports? Cheer on the long-time world’s #1 women’s soccer team: U.S.A.

6. Get to know players or their parents with a different worldview. Soccer can open a door to meeting local families from different cultures, since the children of immigrants are more likely to join a soccer team than any other sports team. And those parents might make the best coaches since they likely grew up with it as their #1 sport.

7. Adults can play, too, in leagues across the country. My cousin’s team in New Jersey was organized by a Chinese restaurant owner, and included Nigerians, Brazilians, Central Americans, and Iranians. They were cab drivers, doctors, and CEOs – but those distinctions faded away on the turf.

8. If you travel abroad, try to attend a local football (soccer) game. Few events will show local culture and passions more than a football match, even if it’s a nearby youth league a waiter told you about.

9. Watch a soccer movie. Ages 10 & up: Bend It Like Beckham has become the classic. My favorite for all ages: The Great Match, a comedy showing remote tribal villagers in Mongolia, Niger, and Brazil trying to get TV reception for the 2002 World Cup final – and many more!

10. Help all kids access soccer and sports. Donate outgrown shin guards and cleats.  Support kids in the U.S. and worldwide to play as a means of getting healthy and staying in school.

Find out other great resources for connecting families with the world through daily updates on the Growing Up Global Facebook group

“Caring without scaring: How to teach kids to care about the world around them without frightening them off the planet”

By Heidi Stevens, Tribune Newspapers

Reality is a tricky teaching tool when it comes to parenting.

On the one hand, you want to shield your children from images and stories that will frighten them or cause them anxiety. On the other, you want to teach them perspective and knowledge about the world around them.

If you want your child to have empathy, you can — and should — do both, experts say.

“You don’t feed a baby a steak,” says Homa Sabet Tavangar, author of “Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be at Home in the World” (Ballantine Books). “You give them age-appropriate portions and the right consistency, but you do need to feed them.”

So it is with “feeding” them reality.

When an earthquake struck Haiti in January, Tavangar pre-screened a photo slideshow on a newspaper Web site to show her 6-year-old. The images showed the ravaged island and survivors living in tents.

“You want to humanize the dignity and strength of the people experiencing the disaster, so it’s not just ‘those people,’” she says. “A natural part of growing up is knowing the world has justice and injustice and there are things we care about and things we can change and things we need to change.”

In her book, Tavangar writes: “Once you and your children feel a closer connection to what is going on in the world and how others live, play, study, eat, worship and celebrate, it is natural that you will care about the health and survival of the planet and its inhabitants — whom you regard as your family and friends.”

But don’t wait for a natural disaster to start imparting empathy. The lessons can happen in daily doses, say experts. Here are five tips to get you started.

Meet your child’s needs. Children are naturally self-centered, and nurturing them can actually help them become less so. “When a child’s needs are met in all the ways they have needs — emotional, physical, spiritual — they don’t have to put energy into getting their own needs met, and they have energy left over to direct in other ways,” says Warren B. Seiler, child and adolescent psychiatrist and author of “Battling the Enemy Within: Conquering the Causes of Inner Struggle and Unhappiness” (Victory Laine). “They become other-centered. Empathy comes from being loved and cherished and watched over as a child goes from birth onward.”

Don’t overindulge. “If you meet all your child’s needs, you can’t cause any problems,” Seiler says. “If you meet all their wants, that’s a different story.”

It’s important for kids to know that you aren’t what you buy, Tavangar says. “You can keep buying your kids stuff and keep entertaining them, and it will never be enough, and it will never help them feel satisfied,” she says. “That only happens when they learn to give back. That’s when you get depth and meaning in your life.”

Be a role model. “When a child grows up in an empathetic environment, they know what it looks like and what it feels like,” Tavangar says. “Who are your friends? Who do you invite to your dinner table? What kind of service are you engaged in? Do you talk that stuff through? ‘We’re devoting a portion of our annual budget to this cause because we care and because it matters.’ Help them see how that directly goes back to your own well-being and humanity’s well-being. You’re not lecturing them. It just becomes part of your family values.”

Have frequent discussions. Talk about the harsh realities your children encounter, whether it’s a homeless person living on the street or a child being bullied at school. Ask them how they feel about what they witness, and tell them how you would respond empathetically.

“We always talked about how to treat other people,” says Seiler, who has three grown children. “They had all this extra energy, and they wanted to use it the way we used it. Children become like the people who are nurturing them.”

Figure out ways to help. “Empathy is like a muscle,” says Tavangar. “We can have it in us, but if we don’t exercise it, it doesn’t come out necessarily.”

Plenty of charitable organizations were started by children who were upset by something they witnessed, including Ryan’s Well — a foundation devoted to delivering clean, safe water to developing countries that was founded in 1999 by then-7-year-old Ryan Hreljac.

“Their compassionate parents didn’t tell them to forget about those thoughts or that it’s all OK,” Tavangar writes in her book. “Instead they helped the child develop a plan of action, find creative avenues for service, fundraise and even engage in policy advocacy. This way, kids felt empowered to right a wrong and not stand helplessly or anxiously on the sidelines.”

Vice presidents Rosemarie Truglio and Jeanette Betancourt from Sesame Street’s nonprofit organization Sesame Workshop (sesameworkshop.org) compiled tips for parents to help children cope with natural disasters shortly after the Haiti earthquake.

“Put together a lemonade stand or a bake sale in your community or school to donate the proceeds,” they suggest. “Helping others will not only help your child learn about empathy, it also shows that there are people that will be there to help during tough times.”

More ways to share the love

Homa Sabet Tavangar devotes a chapter in “Growing Up Global” to “service and giving,” which experts agree are key ingredients for empathy. A few of her suggestions:

Read “A Kid’s Guide to Giving,” by Freddi Zeiler (Innovative Kids Publishing). “A handy little workbook-type resource to help kids figure out how to start giving back.”

Click on dosomething.org. “(The site) gets teens mobilized, informed and maybe excited enough to take action. Young people are starting Do Something clubs all over the country.”

Watch “Back to School,” a PBS film that follows children in Afghanistan, Kenya, India, Japan and other countries as they struggle to get an education. (Available at pbs.org.)

Collect your change to donate to a worthy cause. “As little as (6 cents) can buy life-saving solutions for children,” Tavangar writes.

Discuss poverty and hunger. For elementary schoolers, ask, “Have you ever been hungry for several hours or more? What was that like?” For tweens, ask how being hungry affects their mood and their ability to do schoolwork or sports. For teens, ask how they feel about celebrities getting involved in charitable campaigns and whether they and their friends could get excited about making a difference in the world.